A Reason to Stay (Solangelo/Willco)

IV. A Good Person

        Nico felt his chest rise and fall in an unfamiliar, gasping way.  He had laughed before, of course, but he was having a difficult time remembering when exactly he had had reason to before he started spending so much time with Will.  And now here he was, lying in the dirt between rows of giant, red strawberries, shoulder to shoulder with Will, and laughing.  He couldn't even remember why he was laughing anymore, he just was; once he had started, he couldn't seem to stop.  Will, apparently quite amused at this outburst, began laughing himself, and soon they had both devolved into fits of giggles.  And then Nico turned his head towards Will a fraction, and his laughter died off very quickly as he realized how very, very close their faces were to each other.

        Wondering why Nico had suddenly gone silent, Will looked over too, and his face grew serious almost at once.  Their noses were three inches apart.  Will had such a look of vulnerability on his face, one Nico could never have pictured there; he was sure his own was a mirror of it.  Their foreheads were four inches apart.  Will looked down, his eyelashes catching the sunlight, then looked up again at Nico with a question in his eyes.  Their lips were only a few desperate, excruciating, unbelievable inches apart.  And then, as if moving of their own accord, they moved closer, and closer, so close that Nico coul feel Will's breath on his cheek.  His heart pounded so hard it felt like it was trying to break out of his chest.

        "Will," he breathed.

        "Nico."

        And then their lips were together, and they were like two puzzle pieces, as if they belonged here, together, more than anywhere else in the world.  Nico felt himself gasp a little against Will's mouth as they first touched, but it felt so perfect, so right, why shouldn't he let himself find some joy in life for once?  And then he was gripping Will's shoulders, and Will was holding his hips, and Nico clung to him, scared he might float off, so light was the feeling in his chest.  It was as if something dark and twisted had been living there all his life, feeding him insecurities and self-doubts and sorrow without him even being aware of its presence, and now it was gone, and a radiant light, like his own personal sun, had taken its place.

        He rolled on top of Will, forgetting where they were, forgetting who might see them, forgetting everything but the feel of his fingers running through Will's hair, and his hands on Nico's hips, Will's breath pushing against his own.  He even managed to forget how undeserving he was of this happiness, of Will, his Will, pressed up against Nico and embracing him as if he was really wanted, really desired, really loved.

        When they finally broke apart, Nico rolling off of Will and scrambling back a couple feet, it was with a gasp, as if they were both slightly shocked at what had just occurred, and both 100% unsure of what came next.  They just looked at each other, hardly blinking, both pairs of eyes opened wide and questioning.  And then Will started to smile, and then he started to laugh, the sound of it a far more beautiful music than any that Apollo could produce.  Nico just stared at him, wondering if he could possibly have been wrong, if this was all some cruel joke and Will was laughing at him, at his stupidity in falling for it, and if he would tell him now that it had all meant nothing.

          "What!" Nico demanded, feeling more fragile than he ever had in his life.

      Will stilled at his harsh tone, his smile fading into a somehow equally solemn and passionate expression as he said, "It's just... it's just that I never imagined you felt the same way I did."

        "But Will," he replied before he had a chance to consider what he might say, "how can you possibly look at me that way?  What I am, it's wrong, it's repulsive–"

        "What you are?" Will interrupted disbelievingly, "What you are is a hero, a good person, Nico.  There's nothing wrong with you, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar."

        He crawled closer to Nico across the moist soil and wrapped his arms around him, and Nico let himself feel the warmth that radiated off another living body, and let his own arms come up around Will, and buried his face in the crook of Will's neck.

        "I really, really like you, Nico," Will whispered, his lips brushing Nico's ear as he spoke.

        "I really like you too, Will.  And it scares me."