A LOST BEAR

Friday January 8th, 18th Birthday

Indy's definitely mad.

He stormed in barely 5 minutes after I let it slip he had found his Mate.

He clearly didn't listen to Jing telling them all to stay away.

So now he and I are sitting side by side on a couch in Jing's office.

Not talking.

We never talk anymore.

My eyes are burning again.

I don't want to fight it anymore.

So, I just let it happen.

Tears fill up my eyes and start to make their way down my checks.

"Alright, I don't know what has been going on with you two but enough is enough. It's obvious something has been happening between you, the entire family has noticed. It is also obvious that neither of you are talking about it. So, that's what we are going to do. You two are going to fix your relationship. I'm only here to mediate and step in if necessary, so just speak to each other. Now one of you is going to have to start."

Then there is silence.

A very tense silence.

I can feel how upset Indy is.

And I don't know what to say.

For all the languages and words I know.

For all the book I read.

Expressing myself is still beyond me.

It's gotten easier.

Having to talk to people who aren't family has helped.

Slightly.

Maybe.

Not really.

I'm a disaster.

"Are you not even going to say anything? You sprint away from me like hellhounds are chasing you in a storm no less." Indy pauses, his hands clasped in front of him, rubbing them together, "I don't know what I did that made you run from me."

He.... He doesn't know?

Have I been wrong this whole time?

Almost 3 months?

I've felt like Indy has been pulling away from me.

Was that wrong?

Am I that stupid?

Am I that fucked up?

"I....I'm scared Indy." I sigh, gathering all my courage to finally put my feelings into words, I owe it to Indy. If I've been wrong all this time, he needs to know why. "I feel like you've been pulling away from me. We used to do everything together and for a while you have been leaving me behind. We've barely talked in months. I know I am a burden and I'm... difficult. I'm sure I've driven you away. Barnaby and Brutus tell me all the time how I'm practically useless and you've been getting more and more distant so when you told me you had met your Mate I felt like I'd lost you for good."

Indy looks at me.

He looks startled.

Like I surprised him.

"Oh Iago...."

Suddenly, he's hugging me.

Pulling me in so tight it almost hurts.

"I'm so sorry."

He mumbles this over and over into my hair.

We just hug for a long time.