O1.O7.13
Monday
Doctors today again.. I am so scared, sad, angry and nervous.. What if I do have this TMJ thing? I got up and we met up with my grandma to get this rug then we went out for lunch we got "pho" I was so hungry but I couldn't open my mouth that wide so I ended up stuffing a bunch of food in my mouth hahaha after that we were suppose to go to the doctors but instead my mom kept going around doing errands I got so mad! This is serious here!! I need to go to the doctors! And my sisters wouldn't shut the fuck up! Finally we got to the doctors, thank god there wasn't a lot of people now I'm in the waiting room... "May?" here I go.
***
FUCKIT! I do have this stupid TMJ! He said he gonna give me some medicine and i need to keep my mouth close as long as possible it needs to heal itself, I cant open my mouth big, and by the end of the week if it still is there I need to go to a specialist doctor..... GREAAAT! and the side effects to the medicine is kinda like being drunk so I will be feeling really tired in school, now I need to make a note saying what's wrong, so at school when I'm not even talking everybody gonna ask me what's wrong, so I will just let them read the note! Oh shit! How am I gonna be able to keep my mouth close at lunch.. The guys I sit with are hilarious! There has never been a day that passed by when they didn't make me crack up,
crap, this is gonna be hard I gotta sit somewhere else! Later I came home and ate, then I talked to Jordan for the rest of the night, until I got a message from josh.. Supposedly it's one of his friends.. Saying josh got into a fight but don't worry him, and I said why he got into a fight this time? And he said don't worry about him because you don't love or like him.. I typed back... Whoever this is you need to fuck off, if I didn't like him why would I be with him? That person wrote back saying..oh you're with him? That's why he said no to having sex with me.. I wrote back.. I'm done talking to you BYE! Then he/she didnt write anything back. I have a really good feeling it was josh and not one of his friends! I am so tired of his bull shit and him lieing to me thinking I'm dumb enough to believe him.. Wow
O1.O8.13
Tuesday
Damn school tomorrow.. Pretty little liars marathon for the whole day!
Marathon ended at like 9:OO PM then i called Jordan we talked till 12:OOAM then I went to sleep.
O1.O9.13
Wednesday
My annouying alarm clock went off at 7:OOAM I got up brushed my teeth washed my face put on my red and white striped long sleeve shirt with my blue jeans with white hearts on them! Then I put on my makeup. After that I ate some cereal then grabbed my backpack and headed for the door, went by Emma's house we always walk to the bus stop together. We catched up on things, she broke her fingers I got TMJ! Hahah when we got to the busstop we talked about some more things like how she asked me how was me and josh? He hasnt talked about you lately? He got his phone stolen and what? he talks about me? What does he say? He always says like i love may so much! Its so cute! Awwww! Shane came to park his bike at the pole we noticed a bra next to the pole! Me and Emma bursted out laughing!! Then shamus came then delaynie! Hmm no eric, I get the seat to myself then! Wooh! Just then the bus came I plugged in my earphones until we got go school.
***
Walking to 7th period, this is the only class me and josh have together since he is in 8th grade and im in 7th, and I don't know if his schedule changed.. I heard someone yell my name, it was josh he was in building 4, he doesn't have gym... I felt like crying my eyes out, my eyes started tearing up.. Wait but it's ok he'll try and switch? What if they don't let him? For the whole gym period I just sat there stared into space looking and feeling emotionless my friends tried to cheer me up but nothing could work. The bell rang I'm waiting for josh, I asked him if he is gonna switch, he said he will try to, he has computers now he said they were gonna let him stay in gym but then they switched him. This fucking sucks! How am I suppose to hangout with him now? My friends are grounded I'm not aloud to hangout with a boy alone. What's gonna happen to our relationship? Questions kept circling in my head. I gave him a hug and we went to our buses, Jordan walked me to my bus, then I plugged my earphones in looked out the window and dropped a few tears or so, I walked home, and got some food, looks like I'm gonna start eating my feelings.
