Sick Life of A High Schooler

Advanced English

English has never come easy to me.  My parents aren't from Australia, so their English is not the best. It was almost expected that their children wouldn't be the best at it either so it was no pressure. I don't have to be good at it. My family isn't one of those well-off Asian families either. 

Actually, maybe that's where the pressure came from. I really did want to do well in school, so I could do well in life. 

I'm in high school now and my grades are decent. I really do wish they were better though, considering I'm in Yr 12. But my lazy ass can't seem to stop procrastinating. I've been flopping my exams for a while now. Especially maths. And I was so good at it in Yr 7. Not to brag or anything, but I was first in maths for a solid 3 years. Now I'm second, but the people in my school aren't the smartest (me included) so second really isn't that good. The guy who gets first place is honestly really amazing though. I don't know how he does it. All the subjects he does, he's coming first in. Like... how? 

Some people are just built different. (Even teachers ask him for help. He's literally on another level.)

It's very discouraging to be second to him. The gap is huge. Trust me. And I share so many subjects with him. :(

I have no idea where I'm going with this, but basically, I was trying to say my English is okay, but I want to get better. I think writing stories is fun. And improving is satisfying. It makes me feel accomplished. But how does one improve? 

In school, teachers are supposed to help you and guide you through your struggles. Give you critical feedback. But my English teacher... she doesn't... really... It's weird. I like her. I really do. But her feedback skills are a little lacking. I went through a lot of effort to share my stories with her. I want to get top marks. Not as competition, but for self validation. Something to be proud of. But if my teacher can't give me the feedback I need to actually write in the top bracket... How am I supposed to get better? 

I don't want to be annoyed at her. Maybe she wasn't having a good day. Or my pieces just sucked and she didn't have the heart to tell me they were bad. But I would rather she told me they sucked then let me fail.

To be honest, I know my stories aren't the most original. They're definitely not the most interesting. Rather, boring...

Ughhh I don't really want to think about this.

In the end, it's really up to myself to figure out how to enhance my writing skills.

Til next time, ciao~