Cold Comfort

Chapter 4

*Reader's POV*

Once the plane landed, the team split into two. You, Rossi, Morgan, and Emily headed to the dumpsite of the latest body, while Hotch, JJ, and Reid headed to the police station. The four of you were headed out to look at the scene when you felt a tug on your arm stopping you in your tracks.

You turn to see who it is and are met with Emily's face only a few inches away from yours. You clear your throat and glance over to see Rossi and Morgan talking to the officers on-site, and take a step back, creating some distance between the two of you.

"What were you talking to Hotch about on the plane?" Emily asks suddenly.

"It's nothing," you say with a shake of your head. You start to head over the rest of the group, but Emily stops you again.

"Why are you doing that?" she questions, giving you a confused look.

"Doing what?"

"You're shutting me out." She crosses her arms over her chest. "Last night you had no problem talking to me, but today it's an entirely different story."

"Emily..."

"If you're not going to tell me what's going on, I will just ask Hotch."

"Em..." you try again, but she's too caught up in her own words that she doesn't hear you.

"That's what this is about right, you first started acting weird after Hotch called this morning, and now after hotch talked to you on the plane, you're treating me like I mean nothing. So what did Hotch say?" You sigh as you run a hand through your hair.

"He just reminded me of the rules against fraternization." Emily's face turns to one of understanding, and she nods.

"So that's why you've been acting so distant."

"Hey!" Morgan calls as he walks over to the two of you. "I know I am good, but I didn't realize I would have to do all of the work here."

"Just give us a second Derek," you say, and he glances between the two of you once before walking away again.

"Emily, this is not the time to talk about this," you say. "We can talk later."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

But later never came, and before you knew it, it was dark outside and you guys had barely made any progress. You were going to have to stay in a hotel for the night and jump right back into work the next morning.

After showering and getting ready for bed, you climb under the covers. But just like the night before, you are met with another sleepless night. Every time you think you might be drifting off to sleep, you can feel those cold dark eyes peering into your soul again.

You are staring hopelessly at the ceiling when a knock on your door makes you jump out of your skin. You push the covers off of your body and slowly make your way over to the door. As you open it you see Emily standing there, her hand up like she was about to knock again.

"Emily," you ask confused. "What are you doing here?"

"Are you ok?" She asks as her eyes scan over your face. No doubt you look just as bad as you feel.

"Yeah," you say with a sigh, "Just a...bad dream."

"Can I come in?" She asks gently.

"You probably shouldn't," you say, but even as the words come out of your mouth, you feel a dull pain in your chest.

"Then how are you going to go back to sleep?"

You stand there in silence, not sure how to answer her question without giving her a reason to stay.

"If we are going to catch the unsub we all need to be performing at our best, you can't do that if you haven't slept," Emily says.

You stand there thinking for a second. Nearly every part of you wants to say no, to push her away and send her back to her room. But you know she is right, there's not a chance that you are going back to sleep tonight without her. Not to mention the dull ache in your heart at the thought of hurting Emily's feelings.

"Ok, come in."

*Emily's POV*

Even though it was the middle of the night, I had a gut feeling that (Y/N) would be awake. We never got the chance to talk, so that's what I intended to do, but when that door swung open, I knew something was wrong.

A nightmare, of course. I should've known after last night that she would have trouble sleeping again. So I offered to stay, fully expecting her to turn me away, but desperately hoping that she wouldn't. She's not the only one who sleeps better when we are together.

She reluctantly let me in, and reluctantly climbed into bed with me. But as soon as we both lay down, we fit together like a puzzle, like our bodies were meant for each other. I breathe in the smell of her shampoo, and I am just about to drift off to sleep when I feel her shift in my arms.

"Emily, what are we doing?" I hear her ask.

"I thought we were going to sleep," I say as I cuddle closer to her again.

"No," she says as she sits up and pulls out of my grasp. "I mean me and you, what are we doing?" I can tell that she needs to get this off of her chest, so I sit up next to her and listen.

"Hotch said that as long as nothing is going on we are fine, but the second he finds out, he's going to have to tell Strauss, and then we could both be fired. And it's not like we can date without Hotch knowing. We are on a team of profilers, they'd all figure it out. Hell, Garcia knew something was going on and she's not even a profiler. And I don't want either of us to lose our jobs, to lose this family that we have." When she finishes, I reach out and grab her hand, causing her to look over at me.

"I know you're scared about your job and mine, but I care about you too much to lose you. If you don't feel the same, that is ok. But I need you to tell me now and I will go. I'll forget that last night and this morning even happened."

She sits there for a second, staring at our interwoven fingers as her thumb moves across the back of my hand. She pulls her lip between her teeth and the next thing I know her lips are on mine.

When I kissed her this morning, it was much more passionate and heated than this one. But (Y/N)'s kiss is soft and gentle, the kind that makes you feel like you're floating in the clouds. The kind that makes you never want to come back to earth.

I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to where she is propped in my lap. She lets out a soft sigh as her body melts into mine. I run my hands across her body, her legs, her back, her sides, her hair, desperate to memorize everything I could in case this was the last kiss we got to share.

Suddenly her lips are gone, and mine feel empty. I open my eyes to see hers screwed shut with her face in her hands.

"I'm sorry," she says quickly, as she shifts from on top of me and gets off of the bed. I sit there, still dazed from the sudden absence of her warmth, watching as she moves over to the bathroom and shuts herself behind the door.

"(Y/N)?" I ask as I get out of bed and move over to the door. "I'm sorry I knew how you felt I shouldn't have..."

"Please leave Em," she says, her voice coming out soft and broken. My fingers brush against the cold wooden door. Who knew it would only take three words to shatter my heart.

"I love you," I whisper. I stand there for a moment, half expecting a response, but when I don't get one. I turn around and head back to my room.