It was always summer whenever I find her there. It was always around that time in the afternoon whenever I decide to sit beside her so we can watch the children playing from below together.
Ilang oras din kaming nagtatagal dito noon sa katatawa sa mga kwentong iniimbento namin mula sa mga nangyayari sa mga tao sa paligid. We would even try to act it out as if we were the characters.
I smiled as I try to reminisce some of our moments together.
"Hindi kita kilala!"
"Ano'ng hindi? Gusto mo sampalin kita nang maalala mo ako?"
"Kahit ano'ng gawin mo, hindi kita maaalala dahil hindi naman kita kilala!"
"Hindi pala uubra sa'yo ang sampal, sapakin na lang kaya kita!"
Natawa ako nang maalala ang itsura ni Ava habang sinasabi ang mga linya niya. We were acting out a scene that we made out of the couple that seems to be arguing about something. The guy looked so puzzled while the girl looked like she was ready for a fight.
"What do you think happened to them?"
That was the question that we always ask. Tapos makagagawa na kami ng maikling eksena tungkol do'n sa nakikita namin. It was fun and meaningful for the both of us.
I always treasured those moments when we were together, especially there at the top of the hill. She would always smile at me that made me fall for her even more. I remembered wanting to stay there with her forever.
Pero sadyang hindi mo makukuha ang lahat ng gustuhin mo.
Mahirap ang buhay lalo na para sa akin na working student at sinusuportahan ang pamilya. Mama passed away when I was eight years old. Si papa ang bumuhay sa akin at sa bunso kong kapatid.
But suddenly, papa's life went downhill. Parang na-delay ng ilang taon ang pagluluksa niya para kay mama. Napadalas ang inom niya at hindi na nagtatrabaho.
That's why I had to push myself to work for us. I don't blame papa because I think I understand his situation. Inuna niya kami noon bago ang sarili niya kaya ako naman ngayon.
Ayoko rin sanang i-give up ang pag-aaral ko kaya kahit mahirap, nag-working student ako.
'Yon ang pangunahing rason kaya halos hindi na ako nakakapunta sa burol kung saan kami lagi tumatambay ni Ava noon. Wala akong cellphone kaya kahit gusto ko, hindi ko siya makausap.
Sometimes I would try to go to their house. Hoping that she'll be there.
"Si Ava po?"
Malungkot na tumingin sa akin ang tita niya. "Sorry, Dale. Hindi pa nakauuwi sina Ava."
Tumango ako at ngumiti. "Pakisabi na lang po na dumaan ako."
Tumango ang tita ni Ava saka sinara ang gate.
It was always like that sa loob ng anim na buwan. Minsan iniisip ko na baka iniiwasan ako ni Ava pero bakit naman niya gagawin 'yon? I don't remember doing anything that she didn't approve of. I was always careful with her.
"May iba na 'yon!"
Some of my friends would say that Ava might be busy with another man. A boyfriend rather. Pero ayokong maniwala. Those moments we had at the top of the hill was like an unsaid promise between us.
That I am hers and she is mine.
A lone tear fell from my left eye. Tumingin ako sa ibaba ng burol. May nakita akong ina na pinapatahan ang mukhang nasa pitong taong gulang na anak mula sa pag-iyak
"What do you think happened to them, Ava?" tanong ko. Pero tulad ng mga nakaraang linggo, tahimik lang siya sa tabi ko.
It was that one summer when Ava's mom came to me. She asked me if I could help her with something at pumayag naman agad ako.
But I didn't know that that something was about Ava.
"She didn't want you to know, Dale. Ava loves you so much that she couldn't bear to hurt you," nag-umpisa nang umiyak ang mommy ni Ava pagkatapos sabihin sa'kin 'yon.
Ibang klaseng kaba ang dumapo sa akin sa narinig. So many thoughts ran in my mind about what Ava could possibly do that can hurt me.
Hindi ako mapakali no'ng mga oras na iyon at gusto ko nang malaman kung ano ang sinasabi ng mommy niya.
Pero sana pala hindi ko hiniling na malaman agad kung ano'ng nangyari.
May heart broke when I saw a body covered with white cloth on a hospital bed. Dinala ako ng mommy ni Ava sa morgue ng ospital.
Hinaplos ko ang mainit na bato sa gilid ng kinauupuan ko ngayon.
Aveen C. Sevilla.
Her life was a journey full of smile, love and hope. She will always be loved.
"How are you, Ava?" tanong ko sa lapida niya. "I finished college. May trabaho na ring in-ooffer sa akin pero hindi ko alam kung tatanggapin ko. I wish you were still here....." I tried so hard to conceal my tears but they couldn't be stopped.
Ava was sick. Matagal na pero hindi niya kailanman sinabi sa akin. Kung alam ko lang ang totoong kalagayan niya, hindi na ako humiling noon na palagi kaming magkita dito sa burol na 'to. I would want her to rest.
Those times when I couldn't see her in their house, she was staying in the hospital because of her sickness' attacks.
"Ngayong wala ka na..."
She wanted to be buried here, on our favorite spot. Kaya humingi ng tulong sa akin ang mommy niya ay para rito.
"...what do you think will happen to me now?"
Matapos kong sabihin 'yon, naramdaman kong parang yumakap sa akin ang hangin. It felt so warm that I almost thought someone was hugging me from behind.
It felt like the wind was trying to assure me.
"I miss you, Ava," bulong ko.
It was that summer when I realized that I couldn't love anyone more than I loved her.
***
Ginger Wine
05/28/21
11:36 pm
