smoke | namgi

forty-eight

yoongi woke up sad. he didn't know why and it made him even more sad. he had no reason to be sad! he had a boyfriend so why was he sad?

his head was clouded by negative thoughts, it didn't help that he had the day off so he didn't have distractions.

"where's that mini whiteboard i bought the other day?" yoongi asked himself, he bought it to help himself stop smoking.

he didn't think he was doing better. in fact, he knew he wasn't doing better, at all. he was wasting more on cigarettes, it was shameful.

he set the white board on the bed, getting out some whiteboard markers to write.

—

reasons to stop

—

that was the title. yoongi put his face in his hands and sighed, he felt hopeless.

he grabbed a purple marker, he had reasons but it was hard to remember when the urge was strong and nicotine was addicting.

"i have reasons to quit" he said out loud, he needed to quit. he couldn't be doing this forever.

—

1. minji, seokjin, namjoon

—

he needed to do quit to make them proud. he knew that minji knew smoking was bad, she always questioned him when she saw him smoke.

yoongi knew seokjin wasn't very understanding of addiction, but seokjin did encourage yoongi to quit.

as for namjoon, he didn't know what namjoon thought of smoking but having a significant other who smoked didn't seem pleasant.

—

2. money

—

yoongi was already struggling with money. he struggled to pay for clothing, housing, and tuition. buying cigarettes only made it worse for him.

the average cost of a pack was 4 dollars. he bought 3 packs a week which was 12 dollars a week. 48 dollars a month. 567 a year.

that was a lot. an overwhelming amount of money. he could do so much with 567 dollars.

—

3. himself

—

he did himself too much harm by smoking. he knew he was putting his physical and mental health in so much risk, yet he found it hard to quit.

he needed to quit. he was determined. he was going to put in the work.

he hated everything about smoke, he needed to quit.

—

he closed the marker, those were enough reasons for now. his phone made a sound to let him know he had a notification.

—

namjoon

hi