Running away

Always and forever

It has now been 2 weeks since Mattheo was separated from me and my best friend was taken from me.
I'm standing in the hallway.
The house feels empty and cold, the joy of life you used to be in the house, the laughing voices of the employees, the pleasant music that echoes through the corridors, or the arguments that you could hear from Denitsa and Luciano downstairs, all of that has disappeared with them.
I rarely leave my bed, or rather Mattheo's bed, I only sleep in his bed.
I was called by Adrien to his mansion this evening, it's probably about what I have to do to get them back.
Luciano left italy.
He's not looking for Denitsa. I thought she was his love of his life , maybe she is and that's just how he deals with it.
He does not reply to any messages.
So I have to watch how I free the two without one of them dying.
I want to sit down.

As I sat,
Basking of the silence in my room.
Hours of silence passed.
My eyes remained on the clock,watching every second tick by.
Without him.
My heart strings pull, and my throat burns as his name flashes trough my mind.
Tears  threaten to spill from my blurred eyes.
I stand up.
Cradling my arms to my chest,
And begin walking to the comfort of his bed,
When a flash of white catches my eye.
I stop in my tacks,and wipe my eyes to get a better view of the white object.
I bend down,picking up a slightly wrinkled envelope.
My name is written in barely legible cursive.
Not just any cursive...
His cursive.
My hands start to shake,as I tear away the seal.
I pull out the paper,which held a paragraph of his writing.
My lip shakes as I scan my eyes down the paper.
"Remember that time we watched the sunset on the hills,and you complained
about the Sun having  to hide?
Well,if I were the sun,and you were the sky,
I'd never set.
I'd hover on the horizon of the ocean, waiting for your stars..
Because I love you.infinitely.
And I always will. Even if we become strangers. But we're not really strangers.
No,we're always more than that.
We were simply two soulmates destined for separate paths.
Take care of yourself. Love you.
Forever and always."

The flash disappears, hot tears carve their way down my cheeks.
Even if this wasn't real, I have the feeling that it was like a warning.
I'm not ready to let go of him. I mean who could give his love of life so quickly?
I remember the day he talked about.
We drove spontaneously to the hills where you had a beautiful view of the ocean.
We talked, ate, he read to me from his favorite book.
Mattheo Ramirez and a book, hard to imagine but he's a total book freak. I didn't think a mafia boss would have time for books but apparently he does.

^ Past ^
His fingertips graze over the skin of my back, sending goosebumps everywhere his skin touched mine. I'm still looking at the beautiful horizon where the sunset meets the sea.
His fingers traced a familiar in one spot.
A heart.
He repeated this notion over and over again until the area became numb to his soft touch.
His fingers suddenly stop,
Lingering over my skin for several seconds.
"Hm?" He hums from where he lays besides me.
"Why'd you stop?" I ask, turning my head to face him.
His bright eyes stare into mine,
Conveying emotions I was unable to read.
The corner of his mouth turns up into a little smirk,
And his finger touches my skin once again.
Another pattern tingles on my back, however it was different than before.
"I.love.you."
His eyes still remained on mine
As he traced the letters on my exposed skin.
I felt my stomach flip as I realized what he was saying.
I reach my hand up, placing it in his warm cheek.
I pull slightly, bringing his face closer to mine.
Our faces were inches apart when I whispered
"I love you more," closing the gap.

Present ^
I never thought that I could love someone like that but then a Mattheo Ramirez comes over and shows me other sides.
I wonder what he's doing right now. Or what Denitsa does if she hasn't already taken adrien.
Sometimes I wonder what my father is doing, despite what he did to me, I sometimes miss him. That's normal I think.
But I banish this thought when I think about what he did to my mom.
Mijn mammie...
I never talk about her because when I do ,I cry straight away
, my father hit her.
Every time I saw her at the table in the morning there was a new bruise  on her face or body.
The smile she gave me even when she felt like dying.
I will never forget her warm smile. I wish I had five minutes with her before I saw her shot in her bed that morning.
Her golden blonde hair was smeared with blood, her pale face looked like the face of an angel.
I still remember how I pulled myself up on her bed and saw her lying in her own blood.
I was 8. When I was 8 I saw my own mother so I had a panic attack from crying. I begged her to wake up. I yelled at her and shouted that she couldn't leave me, so loud until the cleaning lady's  came.
The cleaning ladies pulled me away from her. I kissed her soft cheek and closed her blue eyes.
And that's it. The story how I lost my mom.