I’m almost there. I am thirty feet away from meeting probably my biggest idol and inspiration ever, Ed Sheeran. The man who had managed to convince me, without ever having met me, that my life was worth living. I had prepared long and hard for this day. I was going to somehow thank him for saving me and try to convey how much he meant to me, even if I hadn't met him.
“Do I look alright?” I whisper to my cousin Risa, who is in line with me.
“Absolutely stunning,” she says. I’m not sure if I believe her. “Hang on.” She brushes a few strands of hair away from my face. Then she pulls a long hair off of my shirt. “All better!”
I’m wearing my favorite Ed shirt. It’s just a white long sleeved shirt with some lyrics from Kiss Me on it, but the design was pretty. On top of the shirt, I was wearing my favorite scarf. It was a bright, multi-colored pattern, and it was knit with super soft yarn. My mom had made it for me just before she’d died several years ago.
There are approximately ten groups of people in front of us until we get to meet Ed. I’m nearly trembling with excitement. I take slow, deep breaths so that I don’t come across as a freak. I know he isn’t the type of person who enjoys screaming or crying fangirls.
I try to be as calm as Risa. Then again, she's not really worried about making an impression on Ed. She's a fan, but his music had never really affected her life. Not to mention the fact that she'd been with the same guy for two and a half years, and wasn't interested in trying to win him over.
Risa strikes up a conversation with me to keep me occupied. I keep up with it half heartedly as we approach. When we’re two groups away, I pull my phone out of my purse and get the camera ready. I also have the physical copy of + that I’d just bought, and a silver sharpie. Risa is holding a poster.
We’re up next. I can hear his voice speaking to the girls, making friendly conversation. I appreciate how nice he is to all of his fans; how he tries to make us feel like we're wanted.
Now that we’re right in front of him, I don’t feel nervous anymore. I suddenly know exactly what to do and how to act. I put on a smile and run my hands through my hair.
Our turn. The girls in front of us turn and walk away, all giggling excitedly and whispering to each other.
“Hello!” Ed greets us cheerfully.
“Hi!” We respond back.
“Did you guys enjoy the gig today?” Ed asks. He sounds almost anxious, like he really wanted to please us with his performance.
“Oh, yes,” we assure him. He talks to us as he signs our CDs and posters. When he's done with that, he looks back up at us. His eyes meet mine and he smiles. He is adorable. “I like your scarf,” he tells me.
“Oh, thanks!” I say, looking down at it stupidly. As if i don't know what my own scarf looks like.
“Mind if I feel it?” He asks, then laughs. “Sorry, that’s a bit odd.”
I laugh with him. “Nah. Go ahead.” I lean forward across the table so that he can feel of it. “Soft,” he says, fascinated. I giggle. I can hear Risa snickering at me. He notices my shirt, too. "I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet..." he reads, singing along.
I laugh. "I had to stock up on merchandise before tonight," I explain.
"Aha."
Risa asks for a picture, and they take one together. Then Risa shakes Ed's hand and she walks off to the side to wait for me.
"Mind if I get a picture too?" I ask a little shyly.
"Not at all!" he replies kindly. I lean across the table again, and he does the same so that our faces are almost touching. I hold the camera out in front of me.
“What face?” I ask.
“Hmm. Let's do a silly one,” he decides.
He crosses his eyes and sticks his tongue out, and I pretend to look at him in horror. I take the picture, and we both laugh.
“Thanks again for coming out,” he tells us, smiling. He extends his hand and I shake it. “It was nice to meet you, ...?”
"Natalie," I inform him.
"Natalie," he repeats. My name sounds incredible in his voice.
“Nice to meet you too, Ed,” I respond. My eyes meet his again. "And-" I try to rush what I'm saying so that I don't hold up the line. I'm not sure how to, though. He nods at me encouragingly. "Th-thank you for all that you do, Ed. You're changing peoples' lives. Just... You need to know that." I duck my head, blushing.
He reaches out a hand and touches my arm. "Thank you, Nat." He pauses. "You can change lives as well, you know." He adds this quietly, so that only I can hear. I smile shyly, whisper "thank you," and turn to leave.
Risa grins excitedly at me as we walk off together. A few steps later, I look back to see Ed one last time. I catch him watching me walk away. He smiles softly and turns back to the poster he's signing.
I could swear he was blushing.
