It's been exactly one week since I saw Ed at the coffee shop. It feels like a while, though. I've seen Ed every day but one since then. We've been hanging out mostly in groups of his friends, and Risa, Jason, and his girlfriend Sarah often come along. Surprisingly enough I fit in pretty well with everyone. Whenever you get to know me, I'm not quite so shy. These people get my odd sense of humor and don't think I'm weird for it. A few days ago, Ed tagged a picture of me on twitter with the caption "Out with some friends." Since then, I've gained about a thousand followers on twitter. And I never post anything. It's weird. I've had people who I haven't spoken to in ages text me and ask me about it. I answer them casually and tell them that he's just a friend. Because he is. And it is very surreal saying that.
It's Saturday afternoon and I'm home alone; Risa is over at her boyfriend's house. I am getting ready to head out to the store to pick up some stuff. My phone vibrates in my back pocket. I pull it out and see a text from Ed. I open it up and read, "Hey, wanna go out for a bite later?"
I sigh. I knew this had to happen eventually, and honestly I'd hoped it would. Before today, we had done fun group things together: We had been to the club twice, played football in the park, and just chilled at their hotel twice. In all of those instances, it was easy to pass up on food, just to say "Oh, no thanks, I ate before I came." Or, "Nah, I ate a big lunch, I'm not really hungry." But a dinner date? This would be difficult. I don't want to pass up the opportunity to see him, so I reply, "Sure! Where and when? xx" I find out the name of the restaurant and google healthy restaurant menu options. I discover that they have a grilled chicken sandwich that on its own is 400 calories. I decide that it's my best bet.
Risa always gets mad at me for "being anorexic". I'm not, though. I used to be, and she was someone who helped me get over it. So what if I ont eat 600-800 calories a day? At least I eat. I don't think it's a big deal. At least I'm not gaining weight.
I have time to go to the store, so I do. I drop the items off at my house, then turn right around to head to the restaurant. I text Ed and ask him if he is here already. He says yes, he's waiting inside.
I take a peek at myself in the mirror, decide it's as good as its going to get, and walk inside. Sure enough, Ed is there, waiting on one of the leather benches. I go and take a seat beside him. "Hey!" I say brightly.
He looks up and smiles when he sees me. "Hey, Nat," he says warmly.
We begin the standard chit chat. "How are you?" I ask him.
"Just fine, and you?"
"Good."
As we're led to out seats, he tells me all about how at the hotel last night he'd almost been mobbed by a group of fangirls who had found out his room number. He'd had to change hotels. I laughed at this with him.
"Aren't you glad I wasn't like that?" I tease. He grins.
"Yeah, you're cool. I've never had a fear of being raped around you."
I giggle. "I suppose that's a good thing!"
"Yes!"
The waiter brings out our food. Ed's cheeseburger looks incredibly heavenly. I try not to look at it. I take a bite of my sandwich. It's pretty good. I can only eat half of it, though.
We keep talking. Half of my sandwich is gone before I know it. Aw. Ed's burger looks so good...
"Wanna try a bite?" He asks me.
"Huh?" I ask. I'm brought back to reality.
"You're lusting after my burger. Want some?"
The fact that Ed is offering to share food with me knocks some sense out of me. "Sure!" He gestures for me to take a bite. I pick it up and do so. Dang it's good. I voice this, and he laughs.
"It's like you haven't tasted a cheeseburger in years."
I shrug and set it back down on his plate. I haven't.
"So, Natalie."
I look up at Ed. His voice seems suddenly a lot more serious than it had been. "Yeah?"
He blushes and takes another bite of his burger. I wait patiently for him to finish.
"I've always been crap at this," he says, smiling a little.
"Crap at what? Being imperfect?" as soon as I say that I regret it. Dang it. Sometimes the inner fangirl just slips out.
He bursts out laughing. I laugh with him, although I can feel my face burning.
"Haha. Well..." He runs a hand through his hair. "I, um.... I like you, Natalie."
Heheheheheheheh. "...Really?" I manage, like an idiot.
He smiles at his plate. "Yeah." There's an awkward silence. My mind is racing. This cant be real. He looks up at me expectantly after a second. Oh. He wants an answer. Of course. "I like you too."
He sighs, relieved. "Cool."
