Prologue

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     I think about it sometimes, the thrill of blinking and finding myself in a completely different reality. Then there's the warmth of him. His smell, his feel, his taste... It's almost like a fever dream at this point. But shifting isn't a part of my life anymore. I can only see him on my television screen now- plotting and killing. Television him is not the him that I know though, it's nowhere near him..! He is warm and welcoming. Yes, he is still suffering and murderous towards those monsters but he won't willingly kill another human.

     I glance to my daughter beside me. Her little hands grip the cushion of the couch as she works on standing and walking. It's fun to watch her chubby little legs wobble with each tiny step towards me. Her persistence and stubborn attitude remind me of him. What I wouldn't give to have him here, in this reality, with us. She deserves a father that stayed and didn't skip town before she was even born...

     I am brought out of my thoughts as my daughter begins to squeal happily and wave her arms towards the opposite side of the room. She wiggles and then plops onto the floor and claps her hands. This is normal- her happily greeting nothing. I like to think that my grandfather visits her. 

     "Oh, Tori," I call her by her nickname and pat her soft hair

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     "Oh, Tori," I call her by her nickname and pat her soft hair. "You're crazy, girl!" She lets out another happy squeal and continues to play with her invisible friend.

     I turn my attention to the television screen and find Hulu open and waiting. Without hesitation, I find Attack on Titan and begin watching from where I was last time- rewatching season two. The happy sounds from Tori subside as she sits on the floor by the end of the couch and stares at the television screen with me. We're on one of the episodes of the 104th in the old fort. Tori begins pointing at the screen while Christa talks. Tori's little face is stoic and she stops pointing. I make a weird face at her ,''You're a psycho, you know that. Just like... Mommy!" I begin tickling her for a bit before we both look back to the television screen.

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