Wishing, Waiting, Hoping

Chapter 6

I don't care how bad this sound but I was really annoyed, they were both sitting there talking to everyone he was banging on about how brilliant his life was and how amazing family and friends are, he could have been the queen of England for all I cared don't get me wrong she was amazing funny and really pretty just like gi, izzy and Georgia but it was all down to him he was the one lying and I just couldn't take it anymore.

I whispered to danny telling him I was going outside for a bit of fresh and he nodded and with that I grabbed my bag and left for the back garden, I got a few weird looks as I left but I didn't care I needed to get out and quick I was so close to breaking point.

I walked back out to the kitchen and opened the patio doors, closed them again and said on the pavement around the house my head against the wall knees up to my chest, I looked up the the sky and a single tear escaped from my eye and that's when it all came flooding back to me.

After I was dumped in the orphanage and abandoned by my family I cried for weeks on end and when I received that letter telling me mum had killed herself I crumbled I started crying and never stopped but when it all came down it I got stronger, A lot stronger, this was the first time I had cried in 7 years I never showed my emotions I just pretended to stay strong just like mum did before we left but this was all an act, I thought I was stronger then this I guess it didn't help seeing dougie again.

My own brother sitting in the living room inside with a beautiful girlfriend,6 amazing friends, and a once in a life time job, and plenty of money and I didn't even cross his mind once I seen it in his eyes when he recognized me earlier, yet what really hurt was that the closest people in his life didn't even no about his past they didn't even know I existed, that that hurt like hell just shows u that no one ever wanted me until I meet Danny and Georgia, but now I'm beginning to think that they don't want me either.

Danny said earlier that he wants to know more about me and the next time he asks I'm going to tell him the truth everything including dougie I'm not going to save his back I'm not going to lie for him when he lied about me for the past so many years he can think again!

I started to think about what life would have been like if dad didn't leave and mam hadn't become so unstable would we still be a family? Would dougie actually want to know me? Would I have a better life? I was soon interrupted by the patio door opening and out walked Ellen? I think that's what he called her I sat up and wiped my tear away and looked up and out a fake smile on my face, "hi I'm Lisa"
"Hits lisa, I'm Ellie" she said sitting down beside me with two cups of tea in her hands, I smiled and said thanks "so danny said that they adopted u earlier and that ur mam and dad left u" I nodded and a tear rolled down my cheek again, "hey hey hey no need for tears it's ok I no what ur going through my dad left when I was young to so it's ok what up sweetie u can tell me I no we just met but u seem really rad and is love to get to know u not tell me what's up".

I looked up at her and wiped my cheek "today 8 years ago i got a letter from my brother telling me my mum had killed herself".... and that when I went into floods of tears in front of someone I had just met.