DISCLAIMER: THERE IS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT IN THIS CHAPTER, IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED EASILY, DO NOT READ. It is not very descriptive, but if you feel that you cannot read it, then I advise you not to.
Sephora's POV
I take a deep breath, looking down at the unmarked paper on my desk. Calculous AP 1. Midterm final. I don't know any of this shit. I don't even know why I'm in this class. I should be taking Journalism, something that will help me with my career. The bell rings and I walk to the teacher, handing her the undone test.
"Thankyou Hazel." She says, not even looking up from her computer. I leave the room, sighing. Hazel is my sister's name. She's the good daughter. The one with the good grades and the perfect job and the fiancee and baby and friends and memorability. I'm just Sephora, the weird kid in class that nobody wants to talk to and nobody remembers. I'm just a nobody. I walk out of the building and start making my way home, formulating a plan in my head. How will I do it? How can I disappear forever? I get to my house, a small two story powder blue house with cheerful white shutters and a welcoming navy blue door. I open the white picket gate and walk up the brick walkway to the front porch, passing the porch swing and opening the door, walking to my room.
I get to my dark grey door, and open it to my room, dark grey walls to match the door except for the one black wall, the chalk board wall. My bed is a sort of bunk bed, minus the bed on the bottom, that just has a couch in it's place. I have a part of my wall pushed out and a cushioned window seat, minus the window, sits there, the walls in the little bump out filled with book shelves, all full. My instruments (my bass, acoustic and electric guitars, and keyboard) take up the space in front of my chalkboard wall, designs spiralling off of the areas they occupy. I love my room. I take refuge in my book closet and pull out my favorite book, Harry Potter and The Scorcer's Stone.
I'm not worth this life. I'm just a waste of space. Anyone could see that. I sit up straighter, knowing how I'm going to leave this life. I'm going to let my biggest fear finally conquer me. I'm going to drown. I quickly change into a pair of pajama pants with deep pockets, and slip a hoodie over my head, getting the rolls of coins that I have used to pass weight inspections, filling the pockets of my outfit, wrapping weights around my ankles. I'm going to do this, there's no going back, not that I'd want to anyway.
I leave my room, putting my earbuds in my ears and playing one song on repeat; Over and Out by Alkaline Trio. I get to the bridge, and slowly climb over the gaurdrail.
"Over and out she said, from the hospital bed.
"For what it's worth, it doesn't hurt, don't cry."
I take a deep breath, closing my eyes.
"Over and out he said, with a 45 to his head.
"The war has taken everything from me, it's all I see, so"
I step forward, finding nothing but air and fall, the wind rushing around me.
"Run for cover as fast as you can,
Where fighters are lovers,
Enemies are friends and
Pens and knives apologize for leaving you tonight. For leaving you tonight."
The ice cold water encases my body and my eyes shoot open, looking around. I smile.
"Over and out he sighed, it seems I've run out of time.
"Please tell my wife I loved her more than life itself."
I open my mouth, breathing deep, choking.
"Over and out she sang, as the telephone rang.
"There's no pain, no answering, no more, no, so"
I start feeling weak as the weights drag me down deeper, water pressure giving me a headache.
"Run for cover as fast as you can.
Where fighters are lovers,
Enemies are friends and
Pens and knives apologize for leaving you.
Run for cover and you'll find us there.
Take on the anguish make it disappear.
When hang grenades and napalm flames are leaving you tonight."
I close my eyes.
"Let this candle burn till you get home.
Never forget your face never lose hope.
Tonight."
Something wraps around my waist, but I'm too tired to open my eyes and see what it is.
"Run for cover as fast as you can.
Where fighters are lovers
Enemies are friends and
Pens and knives apoligize for leaving you.
Run for cover and you'll find us there (over and out)
Take on the anger make it disappear (over and out)
When razorblades were softly serenading you."
Then, everything disappears.
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Hello :) yes, I am writing another book. I've been wanting to write something like this for a while, but at the time my writing hadn't been good enough, and now I think it is good enough to capture my thoughts exactly how I wanted to.
If you liked this chapter, please like, comment, and follow me to keep updated with all of my writing.
Thankyou for reading
Signing off,
The Author
The photo is a basic profile of Sephora and the song is Over and Out by Alkaline Trio, which is one of my favorite songs ever.
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