Request 🛑 56 - ''Call me everyday, I just need to know you're okay.'' 95 - ''I just want you to be happy, even if your happiness doens't include me, I just want you to be happy.'' ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
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It was too much, too heavy for you. Falling in love with a man you didn't know if was going to come home alive, Harry noticed how much your health had deteriorated over the months but there was nothing to be done about it, he couldn't quit his job, but damn he thought about it for a long time.
You started biting your nails like a 9 year old kid again, your nightmares had become more and more frequent and you woke up in a fright with Harry holding your sweaty body and calling you name. Whenever you looked at him with fear, you knew he was also in pain, something in Harry was torn apart when he saw the woman of his life in pain, he blamed himself for every panic attack, every cry, everything...
Some days you couldn't breathe, and when he was traveling on a mission somewhere in the world, without having any contact with him or hearing his voice saying it was all right, it was more difficult. Any news you had about him was through Merlin, who called every day to check onyou, sometimes even that wasn't enough.
''Call me everyday, I just need to know you're okay.'' You said looking at the floor and hugging your arms in a failed act of calming your nerves down, seeing again the man you loved collecting his bags at the front door, oh it hurts. Harry sighed looking at you, that might be more difficult for him than it was for you, leaving that fragile and sensitive woman behind with nothing but fear and sadness.
''Dear, I'm sorry. You know I can't keep in touch, that would only put you at risk.'' He approached holding your arms but you couldn't look at him knowing that tears were already streaming down your face ''Hey.'' He raised your chin gently.
''I can't do this anymore, Harry.'' A sob came out of your mouth, he hugged you tightly, fearing he would break your heart again ''I know.'' he rubbed his nose between your hair ''I can't stand to see you this way anymore, you don't deserve it.'' He said quietly ''After seeing you having fun with your friends at that birthday party, I didn't feel part of it anymore.'' He took your head in his hands ''You are not happy here.'' His eyes were battling to contain the tears.
''I just want you to be happy, even if your happiness doens't include me, I just want you to be happy.'' he repeated as his words broke his own heart ''I love you so much, Harry.'' You held yourself tightly to the lapel of his suit, angry that your heart had chosen someone so hard to love ''I love you too, more than anything, but I will never be able to give you the life you deserve to have.'' he pressed his lips to your forehead and then to your lips, as if it were the last time he would feel your lips.
You walked him to the car and before getting in, he turned around kissing you again and holding your cheeks in his hands. You watched him get in the car in silence ''Take care, my dear.'' he tried hard to give you his best smile ''I'll wait for you at dinner.'' You replied hugging your arms again.
Soon the car left, leaving you alone on the sidewalk, you both knew that there would be no dinner, and that Harry would no longer cross those streets again. A broken heart was all you carried that day, and perhaps the awareness that you would never love someone as you loved Harry, that no man would be able to get as much sighs and laughter as he did, but he was right, maybe your love would go beyond the time, and maybe in another life, with ordinary jobs, you two would meet again and live happily, as it should be.
