Zachary the Banana Ninja

Chapter 1 The Potatoes Sang That Day

Once upon a time in the far off land of Foodvilleopolis there lived a fair princess named Princess Hot Dog. It had come time for the princess to find a husband, and so the king all the princes (and male food of the land) of the land and told them, "The most loyal and brave of you all whilst get to marry my lovely daughter. In order to find out to truly is the most noble, a test will be held."
"But I can't read sir!" one of the princes said.
"No, no, no not that type of test, a test to see who the most noble is by doing the most noble and indeed daringly brave act will get my daughter's hand in marriage."
"I still can't read though!"
Talk of this had soon spread throughout all of Foodvilleopolis. Well as you can imagine every single food, from the Much loved Prince Burrito to the most hated Hobo Tomato started doing all sorts of noble acts. Everyone, that is, except for a lone farmer named Zachary the Banana. He knew he would never, ever have a chance with the Princess, so he just continued with his boring old life of farming. One day he went into town to buy some water. He had overheard a few conversations some asparagus were having, "-- did you hear about Bob the Duke of all foods named Bob?" said the first asparagus.
"Yeah, he was visiting the castle the other day, and he stopped the king from eating poisoned water."
(At this point you may be wondering, "How do you eat water?" well let me remind you that these are plants that we are talking about. They do not eat things like we do but prefer a nice cool dish of some freshly prepared water.)
"See," said Zachary, "I'll never have a chance with the princess!"
Just then an old, old, old grape happened to be passing by. "Come here, sonny." ,he said "I heard you like the princess, sonny."
"No," said Zachary, " I just want to marry her for the money."
"Oh. Okay then, sonny." ,said the old, old, old grape.
Just then the castle doors blasted open, and Princess rode out on her magic apple horse. The trumpets blasted from every which direction, and they were so loud that you couldn't tell where the noise was all coming from. Zachary turned his head and saw... HER! "I'M IN LOVE," ,Zachary said dramatically "I have a fire of undying love for her buns!"
"Ohhh, you really do love her then, huh, sonny?" said the old, old, old grape.
"Yes, I will die if I don't marry that hot dog!" Zachary said with a passion deeper than a mere human could ever understand.
"Well how do you plan on doing that, sonny? It seems to me, everyone else has already done more noble deeds than you ever could, sonny." said the old, old, old grape replied.
"Please sir," said Zachary almost in tears, " I will do anything for that hot dog."
"Well if you put it that way..." said the old, old, old grape, " ten dollars should just about do it... sonny."
"I have no money though." Zachary said sobbingly.
"Well then no deal, sonny." said the old, old, old grape.
"But isn't there anything I can do?"
"Well there is one thing," said the old, old, old, grape, "Ever since I was a young piglet I've wanted a pet jellybean."
"YOU WERE A PIGLET?!?!"
"Yes, but that's a story for another time."

And so Zachary set out in search of the fabled pet jellybean.He searched the mountains... but found no jellybeans. He searched the lake... nearly drowned... but still no jellybeans. He then searched the great Swamp of Doom, Despair, and Horrid Death... still nothing. Except for his summer home, but that's a different story. At this point you would think that he's pretty darn upset. I mean I know I would be if I had to find a jellybean but no one had any.
It's like looking for fishsticks and not being able to find the right brand, because we all know that the wrong brand could lead to potential death. Seriously! You never know what they put in your fish sticks anymore. So anyway, he searched all of Foodvilleopolis and not one single jellybean was to be found! He returned to his farm, defeated, lost, sad, his peels hanging low and smelling very badly. Then he heard a very strange noise. It was very quiet. So quiet that no mere human ears could quite pick up such a sound but he was, after all, a banana. Zachary went outside to hear it better. It sounded like this, "uas dhgfk bahb."
Quite a strange noise as you can imagine. He looks and looks but can't see what is making this noise. Then he looks into his neighbor's backyard and sees the jellybean. The glory shines down from heaven onto this big.... Red... JUICY.... BEAN!! He runs as quickly as his invisible legs can carry him. He takes the bean (after leaving a note for his neighbor, of course) to the old, old, old grape.