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I love the number four. I was born on the fourth. I'm even one of four children my parents have. It's the smallest composite number and a square number. Some cultures consider the number to represent stability and foundation. Balance. Order. It's practical. Like four seasons. Like four sides of a square. Or even four limbs on the human body—I heard that last part has something to do with soulmates or something. I don't know.
What I do know is that no matter how versatile four is and the special place it has in nature... running on four hours of sleep is not it.
The dark circles under my eyes remind me of the models who dress in haute couture. And they are my proof that maybe, just maybe, four is overrated.
It's irrational to blame a number. I know that. But anxiety knotted my stomach all week. It has ever since I went to the stupid frat party JJ and Olivia wanted me to go to with them last Saturday. Normally I wouldn't be caught dead there. But I lost a bet. And a part of me wanted to do. I missed getting glammed up to go dancing a party for a few hours, just having fun with my friends.
Now parties to leave a bad taste in my mouth. So here I am...days later still reeling from the unsaid insults thrown my way. Ones you only notice when you look a certain way.
Groaning, I apply some lip gloss to my lips and fluff my curls once more in the mirror before grabbing my phone and bag and opening my door.
The door shut with a bang which drew Olivia's and JJ attention. Sitting at the island in the compact kitchen of our apartment-styled suite on campus, three plates were out piled with food.
Half-packed boxes litter our living room floor. It looked way worse when we all arrived last week. My hope is to put everything in pass over the weekend.
Inhaling the rich aroma of coffee, I walk straight over to the coffee maker. This baby was going to be my saving grace this semester and I make a mental note to buy more French-vanilla K-cups.
"You've been quite all week. Are you okay?" Olivia asks, in between bites, whereas JJ just stares at me like I'm a wet cat, unsure how I'll react.
I busy myself by taking out creamer and foam out of the fridge and make adjust my coffee to my liking.
Live with your friends, they say, it'll be fun, they yell.
Little did you know you'll forgo any privacy if you do.
Strange enough, I usually don't mind.
Jj and I met freshman year at a networking event. I didn't even want to go but my at-the time roommate convinced me to go, and it was there I met Juliet Jiang. Back then she had purple highlights in her hair and only wore business suits to class. That era was short-lived, but that paradox was the very thing that made me want to be friends with her.
And as for Olivia... She was younger than Jj and me. Only nineteen, the only reason I know her is because she followed her brother, Emery, to college.
I met Emery through Jj which is weird considering she doesn't even like him. But that's drama she never talks about.
Are you okay? It's such a loaded question. I didn't need them to be concerned or tell me how to be sad. I don't even know why it's still bothering me. What happened wasn't anything I wasn't used to. I simply need another day and I'll have my shit back together. "I'm good, Liv. Just been trying to get ahead on assignments because my classes are really intense this semester."
