Hi,
I just feel weird. Strange.
One minute, I'm fine. Next minute, I'm holding back tears for no particular reason.
Yesterday was apparently National Tooth Fairy Day amd my mom (who manages a dental office btw) dressed me up like a tooth fairy for the event she had planned. Wings, makeup, and all that good stuff.
It's safe to say, I hated it.
I don't like dressing up. I don't like wearing makeup, and I don't like children.
I mean, I might've been able to tolerate it if 1.) My mom didn't wake me up so early and 2.) She didn't make me feel like shit right before we left.
The whole time it was,"Sit up straight, look presentable."
"You're gonna wear that skirt and like it."
"Stop crying."
"Don't be such a whiny bitch and act like a girl."
"Yoy wanna keep crying? I'll give you a reason to cry in a minute."
I'm pretty sure the only reason she didn't hit me is because the arthritis in her hands is really bad.
On top of all that, the kids didn't even like me. None of them wanted to talk to me and since I was the "main attraction" I had to take pictures and...
Smile.
My teeth are crooked as hell and I hate smiling but I had to do it like 20109296467748391901 yesterday. It was brutal. When I wasn't taking pictures I was standing there awkwardly and looking at the floor. I did not feel like a fairy. I pictured it being like the good witch from the Wizard of Oz but it definitely wasn't.
First, my mom gave me my outfit and I was absolutely positive the shirt was too small. I always wear baggy shirts because of my chubby-ness and it was very uncomfortable. No word of a lie, my stomach was hanging out and I just felt really big and not confident at all. Guess who had to wear it anyway? Me yay!
Then she gave me this whole lecture on eating better and making myself look more presentable and wearing makeup and yadda yadda yadda.
80% of the time I don't see her because she's at work (which doesn't make much sense, I mean she works at a dental office) and the other 20% of the she's nagging me and bullying me and totally belittling me. I feel so worthless half the time she talks to me.
This one time she seriously made me through a cookie away because she, "would rather see it in the trash than on my ass." But then she wonders why I feel this way about myself sometimes,
I just had to get that off of my chest, sorry.
-Bailey
