Maybe I'm Just Allergic to Joy

Some Of Us Don't Have Fun

Spike stickers. Bright green with pathetic hollow smiles. Ugly from every dumb angle.

"So whaddaya think?"

Edgar looks at those wide eyes, then back at the sticker sheet in front of his face.

"It's cool," he says simply. Colette squeals.

"I know right! These are the best!" Without wasting a second, she peels off a sticker and pats it on a scrapbook page. Edgar sighs into his scarf. Yet another piece of his mortal enemy.

Mortal enemy? That's so cringe.

Colette has been obsessed with Spike since basically forever, and he vaguely remembers the times he didn't care. He's been trying to go back lately, albeit with little success.

"Look at that! I can't believe I never stuck on a Spike sticker till now. But the old ones just weren't nice enough. This one's perfect! The right size, the right style, and glossy." She tilts her scrapbook left and right, admiring the sticker before closing it shut. "Soooo cute! I'm so happy..."

"Good for you. I'm glad to know that." The gift shop door opens. A woman enters, idly walking past the Poco plushies. Stupid Spike manufacterers making the stupid perfect Spike stickers, Edgar thinks. He hopes it didn't sound sarcastic when he said he was glad for Colette. And still, it was getting annoying. Not that he was annoyed with her, but every time she brought Spike up again, which was every day since forever, a part of him died inside.

Actually, he hasn't been dying for that long. More like, every day since a few months ago. Looking back, that was the first time he could remember growing annoyed with Spike. The cursed cactus had gone up to his locker and burned everything he loved. And then he went to his house, and burned the entire lot he lived in.

Just kidding. But he almost wishes it happened, so that he'd have a valid reason to demand that Spike be banned from Starr Park.

Wow, overkill.

The woman comes into view, walking towards them. Edgar stops bouncing his leg and stands up with Colette.

"Hello! I'd like to buy this please," The woman smiles, sliding a Spike mug on the counter. He takes a deep breath. Speak of the goddamn devil.

"Oh! What a lovely choice!" Colette says, picking it up and scanning it.

"Thank you!" The woman responds, looking at the price and fishing out a few bills from her wallet. "My daughter is a huge fan of this silly cactus, you see." Probably not as huge of a fan as Colette.

"So am I," Colette giggles, bagging the mug.

"Enjoy your purchase, ma'am," Edgar says.

"I will, thank you!" The woman says again before leaving. Maybe Edgar should buy one of those mugs too, so he could smash it on the wall.

-

"I think he's so stupid, man," Edgar grumbles, stabbing another piece of fried chicken.

"That totally sucks," Emz says across from him. She sips her lemonade. "Do you think you'd still hate him this much if Colette didn't ditch you to chase him, like, three months ago?" He grits his teeth.

"I don't know. It started there, but now I feel like hating him was unavoidable." Edgar scoffs. "Knowing how obsessed she is."

"Yeah, but why didn't you hate him earlier?"

"I guess I just finally got fed up now." Now he feels bad. Sure, Colette rambles endlessly and acts like an all-around weirdo, but he could spend afternoons listening to her, recalling everything she's already told him and everything new, looking at the pages of her ever-evolving scrapbook and hearing that crazy, spine-tingling laugh.