Give Me Stars

1. Brutal Decisions

ONE

Karah dropped her coat to the floor and burst into tears.

She heaved, almost puking in the process. Anguish. Pain. Flashbacks of it all bombarded her all at once. The flood of tears invading her eyes made her vision so hazy, she could barely see straight.

Stop this.

She couldn't breathe.

Get a grip. Right now.

Her wind pipes constricted with each strained breath until she began hyperventilating for air. All she could do was clench her stomach while bending over and hug herself till the worst of it all subsided.

This had gotten too far.

She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down.

10..9..8..

Karah's fingers curled into a fist.

7..6..5..

She attempted to push all thoughts out of her head.

4..3..2..

A cold shiver ran through her already quivering body.

1..

She felt a brush of fingers around her wrist and she shuddered again.

She felt sick to the stomach just reminiscing back to that morning when she had gone out to do some grocery shopping. 

It was like any other morning: she awoke to her alarm set for 7:30am and ate her extravagant breakfast of half-burnt toast, spread with butter and sprinkled sugar, and a cup of Early Gray tea with three milks and sugars. She reluctantly, but surely, did her routine exercising in the basement for half an hour filled with running on the treadmill, some hitting rounds on the punching bag and sets of muscle building workouts. Her morning routine came to an end with a shower and then getting changed to start on her daily chores.

Over the past months, routine had become her best friend. It kept her busy, and her mind off of thoughts that only brought her misery. So when she had started her morning, nothing had strayed from the ordinary. 

One moment she was walking along an aisle, picking out the miscellaneous items on her list and the next moment she was chasing after a can that had slipped from her fingers and rolling away. Managing to stop it, she bent to pick it up. As she got up, she had involuntarily glanced forward, subsequently staring out the window, frozen.

At first she had thought it was the trick of her eyes, but she had blinked almost too many times to count to know everything was real.

In dark fitted jeans and a navy sweater, he had his hoodie pulled over his head as he stood meters away from her beyond the glass, in the grocery shops parking lot.Again, Karah attempted to shake her head, thinking it was a figment of her memory. But it was all too real. She would recognize that life ruining grin anywhere.

He was watching her, smiling murderously. That same smile that had been haunting her nightmares for months on end.

Momentarily stunned, she had been rooted to the ground, not knowing what to do. She had been told to be cautious, but after all the precautions, she had never imagined that he would, or actually could be this close to her, again.

It had been six months. Six eerily quiet months since she had left her ...home. She couldn't fathom how he had found her; but he did and all she could instinctively think was, run!

The next thing she knew, she was sprinting through the back door of the grocery store, knocking over any boxes in her way, and getting as far away as possible. She had thought she was safe when she had moved to this small town. She thought she had left her past behind; but it clearly wasn't done with her.

She could never be safe.

Frantically pressing the hidden alert button on her necklace, she ran until she couldn't run no more. Within a matter of minutes, police cars had swarmed the area. She had somehow managed to get herself to a crowd of people, attempting to blend in. With all the adrenaline pumping through her veins, she hadn't had the chance to gauge all her emotions. But when she was told that the he had managed to slip away, she couldn't hold it in anymore.

After the secret service securely transferred Karah back to her home, she all but broke down with all the memories of six months prior caving in on her.

Pulling herself to the kitchen, she poured herself an ice cold glass of water and gulped it down. Shakily putting the glass back into the sink, she turned the tap back on and splashed her face a couple times. When the shaking had waned, Karah wiped her face down with a kitchen towel. She needed to snap out of it. It couldn't go on like this. Letting her problems swell and roll about in her brain until she hyperventilated herself to oblivion was only going to lead to her demise.

It was time she made her decision. She knew what it would cost her, but it was better than living like she was now. In fear, paranoia, distress and anxiety.

If she was living for the dead, she wasn't living at all. If Karah wanted to see another day full of life without the pain and panic, she had to leave her grief behind.

She had to get away.

Stumbling back to her coat, she fell to the ground and rummaged about until she found her phone. Quickly pulling it out, she speed dialed Paul. He picked up on the second ring. He had been notified of the his appearance, but Karah didn't give him a chance to speak. She couldn't bare another second thinking about him. Her voice was hoarse from all the crying but she wouldn't let that stop her. All she could muster to say was,"It's time I go," before hanging up and heading to her room.

Of course, it would have been a lot more convenient to just drink away the pain. She had done enough of it to know it only made it worse once the effects of the alcohol wore out. How long did anyone really expect the painless life to last?

Karah slumped down and carelessly placed the laptop on her knees. She tried to convince herself that this was what she needed.

Escape. 

She should have listened before when Paul had tried to convince her, but she just couldn't leave what she had known to be home. She didn't have a home. Home is where one felt safe. But she was never going to feel safe again. She had no home.

Karah knew what she to do now. She needed to, had to, breathe. It's all she could do to remain a sane and functional human. 

Haphazardly brushing away the tears on her face, she took a shaky yet deep breath.

She had revisited this webpage for the past couple weeks now, but had never found the courage to actually drop everything and go. The whole concept just seemed so far fetched to Karah. Like waking from a dream, a fingertips brush away one second and almost a life time away the next. Each time she would fill in all her information up till the confirm page, then chicken out at the last second and shut off her computer.

But today she'd made up her mind. The prospect of starting over was so bittersweet, she could almost taste it on her tongue. Clicking the confirm button, Karah shut off her laptop, not bothering to wait for any confirmation email.

Italy. 

A nameless dream she never thought would come true; not until now. That one way ticket was the only chance she had left. Karah had cried enough tears, and lived enough in fear to know this was the only way. However, the irony of everything didn't go unseen.

Once upon a time in her life she had everything she could ever want. Now she was left with the mess of everything, and with nothing left in her wake.

She could, and she would, live on. This was not the end but only the beginning to something greater. Death may have had plans for her in the past, but she wasn't going to let it win. He wouldn't win. Not today, not tomorrow and never again. 

Because she wouldn't let him.

____________________

Don't be a silent reader! Let me know what you think :)