Come Out

DESOLATE

I looked before me in awe as flames lit up my brother's 2007 Chevrolet Impala. A car he loved so much. With that thought in my mind, I quickly ran out of our mother's floral shop. He had to be inside the car. He wouldn't do this purposely.

I ran around the company car, and to my disbelief, Hakeem was standing beside his car with a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel's. I'm sure he'd gotten it from our father's cabinet; he was a heavy drinker too. Looking at him as he shook lightly, tears streaming down his face, watching the fire burn in his eyes, I slowly walked towards him.

I came into this world with him; we were only thirty-six seconds apart. I didn't want to watch him lose himself in only that same amount of time. I wasn't scared of him; I just wanted to know what had him upset, what made him a criminal of arson, and what would ultimately lead us both in deep shit with our father.

"Hakeem, look at me," I said, attempting to grip his gaze. "Hakeem, look at me, please," I added, tears filled my eyes. "I need yo—"

"If I burn all this shit, I can start over. I can rid myself of the heat and pain that lives in my heart. I want to do that, Heaven!" He said, tears flowing down his eyes as he gripped my hands.

I gulped in agony from the pain his nails caused as they dug into the back of my hands. A tear slipped my eye as I knew what the spark of his deepened pain was.

"Tell them, Hakeem! You are letting this shit eat you up, and it will send you down the same path it did daddy! I hate that shit! Tell them," I said, shaking from the emotion, pain, and inhalation of the smoke that now surrounded my mother's business.

"They not gone fucking accepting me, H. Black men get gunned down, beaten, and mistreated for shit inexplainable. I'm a black gay man, so that shit is worse. Daddy won't accept me, so how I'm gone expect acceptance from anybody in the world," He said, releasing my hands and throwing his head on my shoulder. I heard his cries echo, and it pained me as it would a doe who had lost her fawn.

My brother was lost. He felt unaccepted. He was unaccepted.

"Look at me!" I raised his head from my shoulders and held his face in my hands. "Be who you are. If he doesn't accept you, I will. This world is changing, and you will be accepted by an entire community too. We'll love you! We'll support you! I promise, Keem," I said, unexpectedly out of breath. My chest heaved up and down as his tears hit the ground.

"I guess time won't heal everything, but acc—" Hakeem's words were cut short due to his sister's fainting. "Heaven! Heaven get up! Please. Please..."