The Scars That Made Me

Anxiety

With uneven breaths,

I take my first step out of the house.

Sweat and nervousness came kicking in,

Second step, third step.

The streets are silent, but I swear I can still hear the whispers

Or was it just me?

Continuing to count each step as I go...

Eight, nine, ten steps,

I look forward, I still wasn't close to my destination.

Then I see a group of high school kids sitting,

I pull up the hood of my sweater.

Hands slowly turn into fists,

I begin to crack my knuckles one by one.

My eyes peer at the ground, 

Never once meeting their glances.

They begin to laugh,

Surely it wasn't because of me, right?

To block out the laughter,

I listen to music.

It calms me, yet I become lost in my own thoughts.

What if I make a mistake?

What if I fall and they laugh?

Negative scenarios fill my mind,

Though my face says otherwise.

Hidden behind that poker face,

Is a girl with fears, trust issues, a broken past.

A girl with depression and anxiety.