As I sat down I felt my buttcheeks get colder on the toilet seat. I felt my belly grumble. As I got comfortable on the toilet I realised something. There was no toilet paper! I waddled over to the cabinet. There was just one paper roll left. I took it. I sat back down on the toilet. I tried pooping. I couldn't! I squeezed and squeezed and still. Nothing. I sat there for a moment. Let it go. It all started coming out now. PLOP! PLOOP! PLUSH! "Ahhhhh. Thats right." I got up and flushed the toilet. I have won. I have conquored constipation. I freaking win.
