Looking Back is Blinding

Burned Bridges

As I left the tunnel and headed to our first stop the blinding light slowly faded, and I found myself standing in an empty classroom. 

A projector was hooked up to an old computer that sat on a teacher's desk.

 Sorrowful tunes filled the room.

I turned to Leo in shock, "why are we here?!" I said, fear seeping into my voice.

"We're here because it's where all things started," he replied coldly.

He slowly led me to the desk and sat me down. On the desk were a pen and paper. 

"You owe him an apology, and you owe yourself clarity" he said as he turned his back to me.

"I'll give you some privacy, so finish up quickly"

On the paper, a small note read "In no less than 50 words, explain to you ex best friend why you broke the friendship, and clarify what has been going on in your head"

I look back to Leo,

"Really dude?" I sigh

"Yeah. I do things formally" despite his childish appearance. He was a small gentleman, referred to as an Old man's Soul..
Seeing that changing his mind is impossible,
I quit bargaining and grabbed the pen.

"Dear M,

I hope you're doing okay.

I'm writing this letter to you, in hopes that I could give you the apology you deserve. I've left you in the dark for quite a long time. Now is the time to shed some light. 

I wasn't ok when I was in school. I hated myself before I was enrolled. I had no friends and I never felt a sense of belonging anywhere. I was constantly made fun of and I never expressed my pain to anyone. I took it in and stayed quiet…

And then I met you, my dearest best friend. 

I thank the Lord that we've met. You've encouraged me to push my boundaries, discover my talents. And thanks to you, I did shine. And I had a friend…

Sadly, my unhealthy mental state turned the friendship into an obsession. I felt that I had no worth. That all I achieved was because you were around. And that I could never be as great as you. I felt everyone was better than me. So when you showed up, giving me attention and genuinely caring about my progress and feelings. I started being weird…

I genuinely believed that I would have no worth in life unless you were by my side. So I acted accordingly.

That of course backfired. I'm horrible at keeping secrets. People found out easily and before you know it, I was called everything in the book. Eventually I started writing everything in code. I wanted people to figure out my puzzles. To reach me without me asking for help..

But then..

By the end of the second year of our friendship.. when things started going haywire. I started sinking even more. I felt helpless and upset. I never asked for help. Instead I stayed in this very classroom. Listening to depressing tunes like the deep teen that I am. Waiting for someone to notice.

I needed help. I still do.

But. Thank you for sticking out for me… and thanks for helping me grow.

Sorry,

Sal"

I felt my chest tighten as I finished the letter… I was a fool. My actions hurt everybody around me… when I could've just cried for help. I need to learn from this mistake. This can't be repeated.

"Don't linger on mistakes. Let the past go now.. Acknowledge your mistake and move forward" Said Leo. His mask glowing with a light hue of blue.

"It's time to go now"

"Do you think he'll accept my apology?" I ask, plead and sorrow in my voice.

"That's up to him, not you. What matters now is change not sad repetition"

"Yeah…"

"Let's move now, we've still got more to cover"

A portal opens up back into the blinding light.

One last time, I look back at the classroom I spent long hours shedding silent tears in…

A blue wraith sat where I was sitting. I kiss his forehead before heading with Sal into the portal.

"You'll be ok" I whisper as I leave.

"It'll get better"

Bridges burned could be rebuilt

Sometimes, though, it's better to let the bridges burn in order to know what you should and shouldn't do.

Forgive me old friend.
But I must push forward