I Love You, And I Still Do(hanahaki)

4

If it was a week ago, that question wouldn't come out from her mouth. But after he dated...he never stepped foot in this room , neither did she step foot in his. A wall that was never there before, slowly stacked up.

She let out a sigh as she motioned to the door, "Although I am your best friend, being in another girl's bedroom when you have a patner might cause others to misunderstand. Please leave."

"Miyu you have hanahaki?" The boy's tone was careful as his eyes pierced right into her soul.

That question sent chills down her spine, he was angry...very angry. He had never been so mad at her before, not when she slapped him, not when she ignored him...yes they have had small quarrels, but...never had she seen such rage in his eyes.

"No, why?" She lied, acting oblivious.

"I really hate this part of you." He stood in front of her, eyes narrowing. "The sink."

"That was an art project." She shrugged. 

"It reeks of blood, Miyu. Stop lying!" His brows furrowed.

"Don't ask if you already know. So what are you doing here?" She changed the topic.

"I was worried, you didn't come to school since Friday. When I come here to find you, you were never here. I called you so many times, but you never picked up. You only replied my messages but your replies are all dismissive." His voice laced with worry. "You...did you even eat properly?"

His heart broke when he saw how much weight she had lost, and the dark circles under her eyes...she was his precious best friend, little sister...they've never been separated. But he could feel the wall she was building between them.

"Yes, it's because of hanahaki but I'm fine. Now go back." She commanded. It wasn't a plea, it wasn't request, it was a demand.

"No, I won't. You need to tell me everything...how long did you plan to hide this from me? Did you even intend to tell me?" He held her shoulders firmly while she sighed.

"That's right, I never intended on telling you nor my mom. I didn't plan on telling anyone. Now get out." She raised her tone. Never did she ever thought that there would be a day she would be irritated by his presence, she loves him...but seeing his face hurts.

"...Miyu-" 

She started to cough violently, she choked out "This is the reason why I told you to get out, isn't it disgusting?"

The petals scattered on the floor, her blood stained the marble floor.

"...Miyu, I would never..."

She wiped the blood away from her lips, "Thank you for worrying, but it'll only last one more week at most."

"You'll do the surgery?"

"No, I'll be dead by then...I won't have to do this anymore." She stated calmly, his eyes widened.

"Take your life seriously! Go do the surgery." His voice turned stern.

"Why?" That question shocked him.

"You have to live!"

"For? To look at him cherish another girl? To start feeling the distance growing between us? To lose all memories I have of him? To never love him again? I'm not that strong..." Her tears streamed out.

"Who do you even like so much?"

"It goes beyond like, I love him...so much that it hurts! I can't do this anymore...I really can't. Even if I don't die, I'm dying inside. I feel so bad to hold these feelings for him, I want it gone. I don't want to like him anymore but my brain isn't doing what it's supposed to do." She spoke through sobs.