I Love You, And I Still Do(hanahaki)

5

"If I said I love you too, would it heal?" The boy's brows knitted tightly together.

"No...saying it when you don't mean it won't help. It's fine, you can go if you feel uncomfortable." She smiled weakly. 

"...I won't leave. I can't bring myself to look at you that way, but you are no doubt the most important person in my life." He sat beside her.

"...thank you everything." She smiled to herself. 

"Don't say it like you're dying..." It was his voice that cracked this time.

"I am." She chuckled, standing up. "I've been putting the rose petals in jars...it's a waste to throw them away when they're so pretty."

The boy's heart clenched seeing how much petals accumulated in the jars, in one week...just in one week...her disease progressed in such a rapid rate. And it was all because of him.

"Surgery...please?" He begged. "I'll break up with Suzuki, I'll break up with her if that helps you."

The girl's eyes widened...it was the first time she heard him call his girlfriend using her last name.

"...Takumi...I want you to be happy with her. You wanted to be with her for a year now, I won't destroy that." She ruffled his hair.

What is one year compared  to your seven years? If he wants to save her, he needs time, he needs time to fall in love with her...no one can blame him. He treated her like a little sister, she was family to him...his most cherished family with no blood relation.

"Then, after surgery I'll stay by your side, we'll remake all the memories...just don't leave me. I beg you...please." He grabbed her hands firmly. "If it's about the money, my family will help."

She averted her eyes, he hasn't shown her his weak side in a while...but everyone has one.

"I know I'm being selfish, I know all too well, I'm a bastard. I can't return your feelings but I don't want you to die. I don't want to be left alone...I need you." He plead. "I don't want you to die."

"Takumi, stop." Her heart ached seeing the boy in this state.

"I'll beg you and beg you again, I can't have you go...I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being a bastard but...but please don't leave me. I need you here with me." He was crying, the words came out between his hiccups.

"We can be lovers if you want, but I need time....I need time to see you that way but we don't have time..." He pulled on his dishevelled hair.

"Calm down, Takumi." She kneeled in front of him "Take deep breaths."

"Miyu, don't leave me please." His desperate plea made the girl's heart jolt. 

Before she could reply him, she started coughing vigorously, surprising the boy. It was getting harder for her to breathe, the rosses started choking her...her tears spilled out. She stared at the rose that she threw up... she made up her decision.

"...I'll do the surgery." She gave in to his pleas. 

................................................................................................................................................................

"Do you remember me?" The boy slowly approached her while she eyed his every move cautiously.

"...no, do I know you?" 

The boy's heart shattered...it will be fine. They can go back to how they were before, right?

"But I don't like looking at you...it makes me feel weird." She whipped her head the other way.

"...does it?" He asked softly while she nodded. "How does it feel like?"

"I feel empty...discomfort. It's like you hollowed out my heart." She sulked.

"...really."

"Just kidding." The girl smiled and faced him, roses sprouted from her mouth. "I like looking into your eyes."

"...Miyu, come back." The boy's tears trickled down his face.

"...I can't, you know that don't you?" She slowly approached him, her hands that was supposed to pat him instead passed through him.

"I was wrong..."

"You weren't. I would've died either way. It's not your fault that the surgery failed." She touched her forehead against his "I can say it now, can I?"

"...no...if you say it, I won't be able to see you again. If you don't say it... we have a chance." His hands clenched.

"There's no more chance silly." She said softly "Let me say it? It's been a week...you have to move on." 

"No, no, no! You can't! You'll be gone." He pleaded as she sighed softly. "You'll really leave me."

"...hear me out, we're just parting ways for now...I'm sure we'll be reborn as best friends again, or maybe siblings this time. I'm just going to that place first." Her voice was soothing, it comforted him.

Takumi stayed silent...staring at the ground. He still couldn't process the fact that his best friend died.

"Takumi, I can't anymore....it hurts too much. Even until now, I feel my lungs being pierced by the thorns." She lowered herself to the ground, making their eyes meet "Please?"

He knew how selfish he was...even though she's suffering, he made sure she didn't say those words...so that she won't really go to the afterlife, so she won't leave him. 

"...fine." He said biting his lips.

"Thank you..." Her eyes softened "Please look after mom for me, I'm going to say it now."

He nodded hesitantly...

"I love you Takumi, and I still do. I'll love you for eternality." She smiled brightly.

"I love you too..."He whimpered. He meant it in another way...but he still indeed loves her.

"Goodbye, my dear best friend, my love." It came out as a faint whisper as she pulled back.

Her soul dissipated into a bunch of roses, small fragments of pink light mixed with the vibrant red roses. How beautiful it was...so beautiful.

That night, he lost her...he really lost her. Hugging a jar of rose petals near his chest, he felt as though she was still there with him. Even if it was brief, he felt that she wasn't that far away.

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               (choose your ending)

"Takumi, look you have a baby sister!" The five year old child responded to his mother's call.

"What's her name?" He looked at his new sister.

"It's Miyu."

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The man jolted awake and pulled his beautiful wife into a tighter embrace. 

"What's wrong?" Miyu asked without opening her eyes. 

"A nightmare, you left me alone," Takumi buried his face into the crook of her neck.

Miyu patted his head, "Silly, I won't leave you. I love you too much to do that." 

Tears welled up in the man's eyes. Only he remembered everything. Thank god he could find her again. How could he only realise his feelings after losing her?

"Mm, I know. I'm just dumb bastard. I love you too, even death won't do us apart this time."