Love in the Time of the Apocalypse

*intro music swells* 

Sandy: Hello and welcome to our show, Love In the Time Of! While other shows bring you boring, everyday love stories, here on Love In the Time Of we bring you the most fantastical, most apocalyptical, most cursed love problems, and then we go behind the lines, to solve 'em. So if you're an alien helping invade Earth, only to realize you're in love with the astronaut whose space ship you blew up, we've got you. Or maybe you're a mermaid in love with a fish hunter who keeps spearing all your pets: we want to help! Perhaps you're a necromancer who tried to help the woman you love, only to accidentally send her to the land of the dead. Trust us, we've dealt with worse. Today we've got an episode unlike no other! I'm your host, Sandy Breckermen, and we're going live on the ground right now, with my co-host, Drew Luna. Drew, are you there? Can you tell us what we're looking at?

Drew: Hi Sandy! *screams and growls in background, Drew panting and the sound of running*

Sandy: Drew, are you there? Can you tell us what today's love story will be?

Drew: *more growling, and running, but Drew's voice still upbeat, breathing between each burst of words* Today we're doing Love... In the time... of the Apocalypse!... Specifically the... Zombocalypse!

Sandy: . . . did you say Zombocalypse?

Drew: Yes! I'm down here in beautiful Arizona... in a small town with a little zombie problem. But no big deal.... getting my steps in... And I'm just about to meet up with George-- ugh! No biting! One sec! *more growling and running in background*

Sandy: Drew, are you still there? One second while we try to reconnect with Drew. This reminds me of last season when we lost Drew in outer space for a few minutes. Or the time we lost him in a cave of that werewolf! Good times.

Drew: *sound of heavy door slamming* I'm back, Sandy! And bite-free I'd like to add. You know, in case you want to have a drink or--

Sandy: — That's great to hear Drew. Have we found the first part of our couple?

Drew: You know Sandy, all these near death experiences really makes me think about finding someone for myself—

Sandy: Sorry, did you say finding someone? So you've got George there with you? Paint the listeners a picture Drew.

Drew: Oh yes, right, sure thing Sandy! Right now I'm standing in the most beautiful little bunker, skylights through the steel coverings, a real garden growing between the bars, and here, walking towards me now is George! *sound of hands shaking* George, it's a pleasure meet you. Thank you so much for sending in your story, we are so excited to be doing Love in the Time of the Apocalypse. Some might say it's a bit dangerous, or be worried for my welfare, but not Sandy! Now, George, I can't help but notice you don't have any guns or weapons here. Is that— erm— wise? Considering your local zombie problem?

George: *clears throat* Thank you for your presence, Drew. There are no weapons of any kind in my bunker. Only peace and harmony. I live the life of a pacifist.

Drew: Ummm....

Sandy: Did he just say he's a pacifist? In the middle of a town overrun by zombies?

Drew: *clears throat* Well now, George, that's certainly... admirable. So, umm, no weapons at all?

George: None.

Drew: *chuckles nervously* Right, yes. Well, let's just move past that. George, could you tell us all a bit about the girl you're in love with?