THE VOICES

bullets to the brain;

'i found peace in your violence
can't show me there's no point in trying'

Everything was coming to light, and it wasn't something that you enjoyed. Having Peter know your deepest secret felt like you were about to endure an eternity of mental suffering and a bag of guilt had been placed on your already aching shoulders.

There was no more hiding the insanity, you'd lost it completely. You were a murderer, yet Peter was still sat here. His eyes were glued to you, watching as your fingertips dipped into the hot water, your skin still smothered in thick blood, turning black, drying under the heat of your body. How, when you were covered in a man's blood, where you still breathtakingly beautiful to him? The woman he believed wouldn't hurt a fly was killing innocent people.

The hot water didn't seem soothing anymore. It made your chest tighten with panic, just looking into your reflection you saw a monster. Having been completely put off you dipped your arm into the water, pulling the plug. Sure, it was a great waste of freshwater, but it wasn't like you cared. You knew from here on this may be the last time you ever see Peter Parker.

"You don't deserve this" you whispered, your throat tightening. The world was a pretty unfair place to live. Peter had been through hell and back, barely making it out alive. He risked his life every day to try and save the people of Queens and here you were killing them off leisurely as if to push him four steps backwards from his one forward. Your eyes remained on the hollowing tub as the water flowed down the drain. Despite the fact there was a mass lack of comfort beginning to grow as your skin tightened with the drying blood, there was no way you were getting in the shower. You feared you might drown if so, maybe a freak accident as an act of karma.

"Y/N neither of us deserves this" Peter shuffled along the bath side to join you at the hip, tilting your head every so gently with the pads of his fingers to face him, "whatever's going on, I'll always be here for you"

You scoffed with a saddened frown, pulling his hand away from your face. He didn't deserve to endure the pain of fire from your skin or the blood that soaked your paws. "Peter I am a murderer. What part of that isn't entering that... Beautiful mind of yours?"

"All of it," Peter answered truthfully, turning to grip your wrist in return, "they say people do crazy things when they're in love" Peter whispered, his cheeks filling as he took a deep breath.

"Peter..." You could barely speak, trying to stifle tears, screams, cries of pain and misunderstanding as you stared deep into his eyes. Windows to such a broken and confused soul. "Peter I don't want you to love me".

"Why?" Peter shook his head confused, parting his thin lips.

"Because it would be unfair, don't you see that? I bring nothing but pain and sorrow and that's not fair for you Pete..." tears were slipping down your cheeks now and you couldn't stop them. God, yes, you wanted Peter to love you, he may be the only one at this stage in time. But at the same time you didn't, because loving you meant he was trying to make his move permanent. By sticking around you knew he would end up getting hurt. Or worse.

"I can't stop what my heart wants, and right now all it needs is you. I'm honestly not bothered, nor do I care that you've made some mistakes, we all have. Please Y/N, I love you..."

Like bullets to the brain, it was strange how three words can completely kill a persons mind. Three words that can annihilate the entire nervous system, dry out every blood cell in the body, send your heart to the race tracks.

"Seven billion people in the world and you chose a psychopath" you swallowed, "Peter if you want crazy you should date MJ"

A low chuckle left Peter's lips, that even in the darkest of times you were the light at the end of the tunnel. You were what had kept Peter breathing, despite the fact he'd earned more than a bruise from you at the worst of times. You were batshit crazy, but that didn't stop him loving you. Love is one powerful emotion.