My best friend recently moved in with us. She was in a bad situation and I had no idea. It felt awful not knowing. We had recently gotten into a fight about how she was handling life that led us to not talk until now. She sat on my couch blankly staring into space as the social worker talked to my family about her situation. I felt awful and guilt was eating me up, but why didn't she tell me? She is my best friend.
"Thank you Mrs. Choi for taking her in I really appreciate it."
"No problem Mrs.Yi. She is very loved by all of us so we will take good care of her." My mom shut the door and kneeled In front of (y/n). She tried to avoid eye contact but my mom very gently turned her head to look her in the eyes. That caused (y/n) to start crying and my mom hug her and kiss her head. I have never seen her cry and it hurt my soul. Mom walked into the kitchen where I was pretending to act natural.
"Hey... What's going on?" I ask her in a whisper.
"She wasn't living with her mom and dad like we thought. Her mom and dad died and she was just handed off by family members to that awful person. She will be okay now!" She pats my back and I stick my head out the door. I sit next to her and hold her hand. Her body was shaking from everything. I pull her body into me and hug her. She started crying and I let her while playing with her hair. She fell asleep in my lap making me smile at her.
"Mom... what does love feel like?" I asked her when she walked in the room. I diverted my eyes from her back to (y/n).
"How do you feel about (y/n)?" She sat down across from me.
"She makes me happy. Give me this weird feeling in my stomach and a weird tingling in my whole body. My heart is always going really fast around her and I can't stop thinking about her." She just gave me a fond smile.
"That what love feels like" she kissed my head went back to where ever she was before. I looked at (y/n) sleeping and smiled. It was getting late so I took her to the room my mom fixed for her.
Laying her down on the bed a kissed her head, pulled the covers over her, and turned off the lap hoping everything would be okay now. I got my room and got comfortable on my bed. My thoughts started racing with nothing but (y/n). I heard my door open and I look at my clock. It was 3 Am. I don't more slight fear paralyzing me until the small soft Steps of (y/n) caught my attention.
The covers were lifted a little and a body slipped in next to me. I smiled to myself before turning around. My smile faded when I saw her face and her head under the covers. She does that when she is scared.
"Hey... (y/n)... are you okay baby?" I asked her and she nuzzled small body into mine.
"Yeah.... I am just Um..."
"You are scared. It's okay I am here." I hugged her tight and felt her body instantly relax. I then heard a sniffle.
"Beomgyu I am sorry. I wanted to push you away which is why I started acting up. My actions caused you pain just because my mind was set on not living anymore." My heart shattered and I let a tear out.
"(Y/n) look at me. Yes it hurt but what hurt most was that you didn't tell me what was going on. I could have gotten you out of that situation much sooner if you would have told me. Why didn't you tell me?" I brushed her stray hairs back and wiped her tears with my thumb lifting her head to look at me. My eyes searched hers and for the first time in a few months I saw a hint of life.
"I didn't tell you because I love you and didn't want to seem broken. I pushed you away because I know you deserved more. You deserve the world." Her eyes finally made genuine eye contact. Her words destroyed me. I leaned in and placed my lips on hers. I kissed her and she kissed back shyly. I wanted her to know that she is my everything.
"Baby I loved you way before all of this and I will love you now just the same or even more if it's possible. I never saw you as a best friend when we entered high school almost 4 years ago. I saw you as my future and urge to do better so I can always take care of you." She sniffled turned into sobs. I held her tight pulling covers over the both of us. Our forehead physically connected while our hearts were metaphorically connected. She was my everything and I made it my mission to show her that while she learned to love herself.
