Dark Horse || z.m au

Chapter Sixteen

Lexi-Mae

I got out of bed around midday since mom always let me have today off school. It's been four whole years since he passed over into a new life, I thought time would heal my wounds but they seem to be getting deeper. Each year that passed I thought I'd cry less but I seem to cry more. Most people didn't realise but mine and my dads relationship was great, probably better then mine and my moms. So when he died, it hit me like the titanic hit the ice burg and I sunk just as deep as it did. So I placed on a smile and no one really noticed a change in me, but I did.

I stand up and reach into my blazer pocket for my tin, I open it up and smile. After rolling a fresh cigarette I open a window and light up. I inhale the toxic fumes and exhale out the window, I realise cigarettes are no good but what have I got to do with my life? Everyone knows I'm not going to collage and no employer will accept me. I might as well smoke my self to death.

-

My day is spent doing nothing. Just sat by my window smoking and drawing, I'm no artist- not like that Zayn kid but I'd like to think they're more then just shitty doodles on a page. I peer at my clock and see its 3 which means Harry's out of school, I waste no time and call him.

"What?" He questions sternly, we never really said hey anyway

"Nice to hear your voice too. How was school?"

"So many shit rumours going round about.. You know"

"My drugged up dad?" I scoffed and rolled my eyes

"Yh. We tried to shut people up but like always they spread like wild fire"

"Nah it doesn't matter, they'll never know the truth."

"It just annoys me how they're so prejudice and will believe anything. No one at school seems to have their own mind, no one will decide things for themselves, they all just choose to listen to others-"

"I know Styles, I know. One day they'll learn to avoid tradition but right now they're all following the same trend- the fake trend"

"Um I gotta go. Bye Lex" he hung up and I tossed my old phone across the room. I'd be home alone for a few more hours which made me happy.

When I'm alone I can be me, the girl people see at school isn't really me. See that's the thing with people, they choose to look at the cover but won't dare open the first page. Maybe they're scared of what they may find or maybe they just don't care? Why go the long way round when you can just cut to the point. I wasn't always cocky and look at me material, I was always that girl who sat at the back- trying not to be noticed by anyone. I had a lack of friends until the summer after primary school ended when Harry, Niall and Liam all moved. I'd like to say they're my three guardian angles sat on my shoulders but they're more like three little devils who sit on my shoulders. However without them I wouldn't be who I am today, I hope that's a good thing.

We were all the same, we all sat at the back avoiding attention that we never knew we craved. That summer did change us all, that summer was the time we agreed not to blend in. We didn't want to be another book on a shelf that no one reads because it's boring and unpopular. We wanted to be that film that everyone queues up to see, we wanted to be remembered. Doesn't everyone? Maybe it's gone too far... But you can't stop time you can only let it pass by and see where it ends up.

My thoughts were shattered when I checked the time again, my mom would be back in half an hour and I didn't feel like facing her. I stunk of smoke, I hadn't showered and I needed a drink. I changed out of my shorts and into some ripped skinnies, I didn't bother changing my top because it was suitable for leaving the house in. I grabbed all my necessities and left the house.

It was cold outside, typical England winter time weather I wouldn't be surprised if it snowed tonight. I put my headphones in and listened to the music which played through the ear buds, my head was kept low as I strolled through town. Children were running home, oh how I miss those times. They were so simple nothing was complex. If you and someone fell out you'd just laugh about something and boom you were friends again. But as you grow up you realise life will never be simple because everyone feels the need to bitch and gossip.

As I thought about childhood and changing I came to the realisation that sometimes in life teenagers need to step back and take advice from children and that sometimes children aren't the childish ones- older people are.

_

This was just an inside on how Lexi feels.. Don't worry the plots going to start developing now. If you've ever read to kill a mockingbird then you might get what we're trying to do. Basically we're telling you loads of pointless things that seem irrelevant but really they do have a point. Hope that makes sense? Wow I say that a lot😹

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-M.