Lucid

CHAPTER 17 - SACRIFICE

Lightning split the sky, tearing me from sleep.

For a moment, I just lay there, breath shallow, staring at the ceiling. My chest ached—deep, hollow, unbearable. The kind of pain that doesn't fade, that sinks into your bones and refuses to let go.

The house was cold. Empty.

The rain battered against the windows, wind howling through the cracks in the walls. The air smelled damp, metallic, like the storm had seeped inside. I sat up, running a hand through my hair, trying to steady my breathing.

But nothing could steady me.

I thought of him.

Ethan.

All I ever wanted was for him to feel special. To know he was loved. Because he deserves that—God, he deserves that. He's been through so much. More than anyone should have to bear. The least the world could give him was a loving family, loyal friends—people who stay.

People who don't let go.

I clenched my jaw, pushing away the memories threatening to drag me under. He needed me. And if there was even a chance I could fix this—I had to try.

I threw the covers off and stood up.

I had to find him.

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Would he ever forgive me?

Would I even forgive myself?

My heart was crumbling, shattered piece by piece. Every time I tried to hold on, to love, to be, it slipped through my fingers like dust. Maybe love just wasn't meant for me. Maybe I was never supposed to exist.

A mistake.

A ghost wearing a boy's skin.

I hurt everyone I let close. First Hannah. Now Ayden. It's like a sickness inside me, poisoning everything I touch.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know who to be anymore.

The night stretched around me, endless and empty. My breaths were shallow, my fingers digging into my arms as if that could hold me together. But I was already breaking apart.

I was lost.

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"Hey, Mom. It's me."

Silence filled the other end, aside from the automated voice telling me to leave a message. I swallowed hard. "I'm glad I can at least reach your voicemail." My voice cracked. Hold it together.

I forced a weak laugh, but it died before it could even sound real. "Uh... things aren't great here." My fingers tightened around the phone. "Something happened. And I really wish I knew what was going on."

My throat burned. I wiped at my eyes, but it didn't help.

"I just... really need someone to talk to." A shaky breath. "Anyone would do, really."

The silence after those words felt like a punch to the gut.

I sighed, fighting the pain clawing at my chest. "Just... call me back. Please?"

I ended the call.

And waited.

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"YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO THIS FAMILY, ETHAN!"

Dad's voice slammed into me the second I stepped through the door. He didn't even give me a chance to breathe.