Living The Dream...Or Is This A Nightmare? (Sequel to Finding Hope)

Chapter Seventeen: This Can't Happen

Edited 08/27/15

Aviva's POV

I woke up warm and safe in bed with Ashley's arms around me. I snuggled closer to him and he tightened his arms without waking up. One of the dogs is scratching at the door, I wonder if they were crying last night over being banned from the bedroom. I really don't care right now. There's a high pitched bark. I sigh and sit up, looking around the room I blush. Our clothes are strewn everywhere. I get up and walk quickly into the closet. I pull on a plain black sweater and black sweatpants. I'll get dressed in my real clothes for the day later. I open the door and slip out without letting any of the dogs into the room. Then I crouch down on the floor to be covered in puppy kisses. I can't help but giggle. I stand up and tap the side of my leg, the hand signal for follow. I know that they'll follow me anyway, which is the only reason I bothered. I figure if I do it when I know they'll listen, they'll actually learn what it means a bit. Delilah and Dexter know it, obviously. Max is beginning to understand it. Matt just refuses to learn. Killer and Tokyo are just stubborn and won't listen to me. I walk downstairs and sure enough they all follow me.

"Good boy, good girl." I say as soon as they start following me. I go outside and they all start running around. Dexter grabs a stick and brings it to me. I grab it and he releases it instantly. I throw it and he runs after it and jumps to catch it in midair. Then he runs back to me and puts the stick back in my hand. After a while the roughness of the stick starts hurting my hand so I get two frisbees from inside instead. I throw one for Dex, then wait until he catches it to throw the second for Delilah. She catches it just as I throw the disk for Dexter again. We keep this up for a while, the timing perfected by hours of training and practice. Then I drop the one I've been throwing for Dexter and switch to doing freestyle with Delilah. After going through all our tricks a couple times I put her in a sit stay and move on to Dexter. I do the same with him. Then I call Max over. She's only just learning the art of being a disk dog. I play with her with the frisbee a bit to get her interested in it. Then I throw it and have her bring it back. We're working on releasing today. She can catch it without a problem, and always brings it back. But she doesn't like to give it up. She's still young though; she'll learn. I eventually just let her have it and release Dexter and Delilah. I start throwing a tennis ball for Matt.

"You're good." A voice says. I look over to the fence to see a guy's head peeping over it.

"Thanks, we've been working on it for a while now." I say, smiling and walking over. If I wasn't such a people person I'd be creeped out by the fact that he was watching me.

"I'm Todd, me and my wife just moved in." He says, reaching over the fence to shake my hand.

"Angela, but most people now me as Aviva."

"They're both beautiful names." He says. I smile.

"Thank you." The back door opens suddenly and I'm being attacked by a mess of blue and red curls.

"It's horrible! What did I do wrong?" Sierra cries. I chuckle and look back to Todd.

"This is my sister Sierra, she doesn't live here but she's staying with me and my fiancée for the time being." Sierra looks up at him and blushes. "Sierra this is Todd, my new neighbor."

"Hi." Sierra says quietly.

"Hello there." He says, smiling.

"You held it for too long and overheated your hair, that's why the curls are all frizzy. I'll come fix it in a minute." I say to her. She nods and runs back inside. I chuckle.

"First time using a curling iron?" Todd asks.

"Apparently." I agree. "She normally just straitens it. Jinxx only knows why she's decided to curl it today. I can tell it's going to be a long day."

"Good luck."

"Thanks." I smile and head back inside. I walk up to the bathroom to tackle Sierra's hair disaster.

<<<<<

I look at the object lying on the counter next to the sink. I know what it is, and I know what it means. But it can't be real, it just can't. This has to be some sort of nightmare. There's a knock at the door.

"Are you okay in there Angie?" Collin asks.

"Could you come in please?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper. He comes in.

"What's wrong..." He asks, but stops when he sees it. He stares at it, just like I am. "Is it real?" He asks. I just nod. He looks at me and hugs me.

"Tell me I'm reading it wrong." I whisper.

"I wish I could." He says gently. I bury my face in his shoulder, not crying, just not wanting to see it anymore. "You're pregnant..."

"Oh Jinxx." I groan. I don't want kids, never have. And I'm not sure how Ashley feels about them. This is terrible.

"I didn't even know you..."

"Two weeks ago. It's not exactly something you go around telling people about." I say, cutting him off. He just nods.

"You didn't think to use protection, did you?" He asks. I shake my head. He sighs. "You have to tell him."

"Not now. Maybe when he gets home. But not now." Collin nods again.

"Okay hun." I sigh. Why did this have to happen? Why now? We were just about to adopt Missa. Will we be able to handle her, touring, and a new baby all at once? I almost start crying at that thought. But I force the tears back. Now isn't a time to cry. I need to think. I sigh and lean against the counter.

"You alright?" Collin asks, concerned as always.

"Yeah." I say, smiling fakely. I know he sees right through it. Luckily he doesn't say anything. Then the house phone rings. I go and answer it. I listen to the person on other end and I suddenly have no air in my lungs. I hang up and run outside to my car, ignoring the fact that I'm still in my pajamas. I call to Collin that I'll be back, then I drive to the hospital as quickly as I dare, hoping that there's been some sort of mistake. I park and go inside. I see Andy and I freeze. He spots me and comes over and hugs me tight. I hug him back just as tight.

"Come on, the rest of the guys are with him right now." He leads me to a room. Lying on the bed, covered in cuts and scrapes and bruises, hooked up to who knows how many machines, is Ashley. His eyes flutter open and I run to him, gently grabbing one of his hands with both of mine.

"Hey babe." He says, smiling weakly.

"Hey Ash." I whisper, my heart breaking in two, tears in my eyes. I know enough about how to read the machines to know that it isn't good. His heart beat is too weak, his breathing too ragged.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. "I'm so sorry."

"No, don't say that. It's going to be alright, you're going to be fine." I say, forcing myself to smile. He smiles back and reaches up to stroke my cheek with his good hand.

"You're so beautiful. You truly are like an angel. I can almost see your wings." He closes his eyes and sighs. "You're so strong..."

"I love you." I say quickly. Then I press my lips against his gently. He kisses back for a second.

"I love you too." He breathes. Then my ears are filled with that horrible, droning, high-pitched sound from the heart monitor. I swear I see everything in slow motion as the doctors push me to the side. As they bring the paddles and try to revive him. Ashley. My fiancée. My greatest love. The father of my child. It feels like I'm swimming through molasses as I turn to Andy and bury my face in his chest and start sobbing. I can't feel his arms around me, but I know they're there. I can't hear his comforting words but I know they're being spoken. All I hear is that horrible sound. All I feel is the warm tears on my cheeks, burning. And the sharp stabbing ache in my chest where my heart used to be. Then the noise stops and the world is silent. Then finally a few words reach me, and I wish I'd never heard them.

"He's gone."

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