The 3G Life: Two Buildings

Friday 25 October 2019

A weekend comes and much happens during this one single week. I regret almost all of it. My usual weekend mornings are so cheerful. But now, I do not even want to wake up from my slumber. I just do not want to face my usual daily chores. I have to put up an act of being neutral but it will take every ounce of my energy.

"I know you're awake so get up Amber," my father calls me.

"I really don't want to, I can't," I reply.

"Just open your eyes, tie your hair and come to the study room."

"Can't I skip class for just today?"

"No, you can't skip class for a single day."

Dalair breaks off his friendship with me. And at first, I feel rebellious. But now all I feel is emptiness. I cannot feel a single sadness, regret, relief, peace, much less anything. It just feels like waking up from an exciting dream and realizing it was just that, a dream. I cannot choose what to feel.

Tamima is the only person who knows the whole story. All she can say is that Dalair is not worth it. But I think it is quite the opposite. I am not worth him. I am not beautiful enough. Or maybe I push for too much. I should just remain neutral without constantly pushing him to give me time.

"Hey, where're you right now?" I call up Dalair yesterday.

"Why'd you want to know?"

"First tell me where're you, I'll reply you after."

"I'm out of school with a few friends."

"Can you come and meet me before 2pm?"

I wait for him in the ground floor. He is fifteen minutes late but I do not complain. I ask him to sit down beside me but he asks me to go upstairs with him. So, I follow him upstairs and we are on the second floor. He sits with me in the reception but I am extremely uncomfortable in the presence of the receptionist.

He notices and so take me to the third floor and we come to an empty room. We leave the door closed but unlocked and we both sit down opposite of each other. I start to take off my watch and rings because these things are itchy. There is an attached balcony and the city is in view.

Dalair is still occupied with his phone. I take it from him and put it down. I ask him why he cannot give me time and a couple of other irrelevant stuffs. Then I ask him to put his hand forward because I want to measure my palm against his. When he does, I see that my hand is babylike compared to his.

I ask him how his study goes and if his math syllabus is over. He says his study goes well but his math syllabus is not over yet. I ask him what is he so busy about and he says with movies, games and study. I smirk at this and look outside at the rigid building.

He asks me about the stunt I think of pulling. I try to avoid it but am caught. I confess that it is a writing in The Beacon and he asks me to remove it. I say that I already submitted it and he looks disappointed and frustrated and something inside me sinks.

"I shall go then, I've class now," Dalair gets up.

"You've class at 2:30pm, Dalair," I reply.

"What's the point? It's not that you'll make out with me."

"Why'd you just want my body?"

"I don't want your body or anything else."

I grab his bag and pin it down to the table and catch his hand. I have no idea how that much courage gets into me. He stands shocked, he is also taken aback by this. But then I let him go. I have no right to hold him like this. He gives my hand one last squeeze and leaves the room.

Logging in my messenger in that evening, I chat with him for a while and after sometime he says we should not meet anymore. I ask him if this is the end of our friendship and he says it is better for both of us. I ask him if it is about the story. But in the end, it is just him apologizing and breaking off.

I close my laptop and look at the wall in front of me. Tear springs through my eyes and I clench my teeth to stop them. I might be alone in my house but I cannot see myself crying over Dalair. If he is so coldhearted, I should be firmer with my emotions.

But I cannot. I go to the escape route of my balcony and unlock it. I look down and I think, if I jump, I will not die but may have some fatal injuries. And besides no one will be there to open the door for the other residents. That is when my mother and sister come back home.

"Dalair ended his friendship with me," I inform mother.

"Alhamdulillah, just leave and forget about him."

"Yeah, I plan to forget him."

"No, one'll stay in your life as constantly as your family."

"I love you Mamoni. I pray I die earlier than you."

I go to the study room with my books and notes. I settle down to study. This little trifle should not stop me from the bigger achievements. I inform Ubaidah about our breakup and she is a little surprised but content. At least one person is happy with this terrible happening. I wonder how people can be so selfish.

I miss Dalair a lot. Speaking to him over messenger is just my habit. Not a single day passed without me texting him. Too bad I cannot even touch his hair. There is so much more to explore in his mind. There are so many more eye contacts left. How many people will you remove from my life 3G?