A Blooming Flower

Punishments

Jason

What was I doing?

She'd looked so distraught. I knew something had happened since I'd dropped her off this morning but I didn't know what.

I didn't know how to fix it for her. The way she looked at me earlier, her eyes told me she wanted me to do something, anything. But Ellie was there, I couldn't even touch her. No, that's not it, Ellie's presence shouldn't have been the thing that held me back. It was though and right now she wasn't here. I'd made it so.

Right now it was just the two of us, my precious little flower and I. There was nothing between us but the distance I allowed.

"I'm sorry" the words slipped out.

This game we're playing, win or lose, I needed to make a choice. I couldn't keep playing it half-heartedly.

It was clear that Lily wanted more than my words, I knew that and although I also knew it was wrong, I wanted to give her more. It was no longer a question of my intentions towards her, simply a matter of willpower over them. I was at a crossroads. The choice I made here would predict the outcome of us both. For my own sake, I needed to resist my desire for her.

I'd told myself I would tell her that everything was going to be OK and then send her upstairs to bed. I wouldn't touch her any more than this. Just a gentle caress of her cheek. It was so innocent, it should have stayed that way.

"Thank you, sir" she whispered back to me. Shit.

I couldn't stop myself from instinctively scolding her. The child was thanking me for caring. I've cared for her nearly all her life! It's second nature. I didn't need thanking for it.

"I told you Flower. You don't need to thank me"

If she wanted to thank me it would be for something far more worthy.

My hand effortlessly curved around Lily's neck but it was so fragile that I dared to imagine my hand around her throat instead. She didn't fight the pressure at all, her reaction almost imploring me to go on.

Just how far did she want me to go before she would realise that this wasn't what she wanted? That I'm not the kind of man she thinks I am. I'm not gentle or sweet. I'll only break her.

The space between us became trivial, yet she still wasn't close enough. Her eyes flashed open to greet mine, imploring me to continue before hiding once again. In the heat of the moment I closed my eyes and let my lips brush against hers.

My conscience yelled at me to stop. The immorality of it should have sickened me, but that one innocent act had excited me more than all the sex I had with my wife. I wanted more.

I knew I needed to snap out of it, to pull away before I did something worse, before I started something I couldn't stop, but as I began to retreat Lily moaned softly against me.

"Please..." her eyes still clasped shut as she begged "sir". Fuck it.

My hand gripped the back of her head tighter, the other quickly wrapping around her waist and I pulled her in before I could convince myself to stop. My lips came crashing into hers. The pleasure was almost unbearable but I never wanted it to end.

God she tasted sweet. The strawberry balm she used left behind a pleasant scent for me to sample and I savoured every second of it.