Destined to be mine

i have you and yet i don't

Shiva's pov

I looked at the girl sitting next to me in the car, what all has happened with her , why all this happened and most importantly how has her life changed suddenly..

The last few hours was nothing except a shocker for all of us,
Rishita coming to the mandap
Dev refusing to the marriage
Raavi attempting suicide
And
Me her getting married to raavi..

What all has happened..
I so wish I could change all this , I could bring back the smile on her face..
But I couldn't because I was myself in a shock after watching raavi's state and specially after seeing her attempting suicide..
I just couldn't get that picture out of my head..
What would have happened if I wouldn't have came on time , I could have lost the love of my life forever..

In all these years of me knowing her , this is the first time I am seeing her so broken..

Its like she has became lifeless, and why wont she be ,dev was her love , from childhood and seeing the love of your life getting married to someone else breaks you from inside , I was exprencing that a while ago..

I looked towards her face , tears were still streaming down her eyes..
I didn't know whether I should be happy that the love of my life is married to me or be sad about the circumstances in which this marrige happened and how much all this has hurted her...

Yes I have loved raavi , from my childhood, but never told her because first I was scared that she will judge me and then she told me that she loves dev , and I couldn't tell her ever that I love her..
I remembered the moment when I got to know that dev's and raavi's marrige was fixed , it felt like someone has stabbed a knife in my heart..
I even remember planning that I would leave somnath after their marriage telling some reason to gaumbi but now everything was changed..
I goy married to her yet she isn't mine..

People say I fight with her because I hate her, but they don't know that i just wanted her to notice me and i wanted to be close to her thats why i use to fight with her..
I wish I could tell them how much I  loved her..

I was in my thought when the car stopped in front of our house ( pandya niwas )...

I got off the car and walked towards her side to open the door but she herself walked out..

We stood by the door while dhara bhabhi did our aarti..

(Author's note- As rishita is not a bad character ,so all those scenes of rishita insulting raavi or dhara is not at all happening in my story)

Once bhabhi was done with all the rituals , we were asked to change , I again looked at my mami ki behen ki beti who was walking towards my room completely broken..

I knew it won't be good if I go inside now , so I silently walked towards the terrace, not knowing where else to go..

Raavi's pov

I walked inside the room I never ever wanted to visit , not atleast being his wife but not everything is in your hand , this was not in my hand as well , I married him because of mausa pa , but why did he married me , he could have denied or atleast tried to make everyone understand that this marriage wont work..
Yes I know this marrige will never work , because he hates me and I would never be able to bring myself to love someone else other than dev..

I dont even know what to feel , is there anything left inside me to feel something, I dont think so, everything is finished..
I lost the love of my life , I lost dev forever and now I am married to shiva who probably hates me from the core of his heart..

Why god why, kyu krna tha aapko mere saath ye , aisa kya kiya tha maine , mere maa-baap ko chin kar apko chain nhi mila jo aapne mujhse mera pyaar bhi chin liya ?
Aur agar chinna hi tha toh phir kyu karwai meri shiva se shaadi , kyu - I shouted..