This makes no sense

Chapter 2: shrek

Suga and Daichi drove for a few hours before arriving to the new town. Suddenly Suga screamed "STOP THE CAR!" Daichi stopped, shocked "Wtf Suga." "LOOK OMG" Suga said. Suga pointed to a direction. Daichi looked there confused. He saw something green but it was unclear to him what it could be. "IT'S MORHERFUCKING SHREK!" Suga screamed with excitement.

"Oh my god" Daichi was shocked. Suga opened the door of the car and jumped out of it. "SHREK, SHREK WAIT!" Shrek turned around. He was holding groceries in his hands and looked annoyed.

Shrek's pov:
I was just walking home relaxed after shopping when some bitch ruined it. It must be a fan, again. I was tired of this life. I mean the money I make, amazing. But these annoying no-lifers keep on ruining my days. And I get it. They are obsessed with me and they should. i'm hot as fuck.

I turned around and I saw a boy. The boy looked like he was going to shit himself. "S-shrek" he said before fainting. I rolled my eyes, stupid fans.

Suddenly another boy came from a car. "Suga? Are you okay?" He said. "I think he fainted" I said. The boy kneeled down. " jeez Suga" he covered his face with his hand of embarrassment. I took a good look at both boys. They were both very good-looking, but the boy who just had kneeled down really caught my eye. His dark-brown hair, brown eyes and body. He has definitely worked out.
Were these guys a couple, he wondered.

Daichi said:"Ok, I will take him to back to our car." Shrek laughed:" do you need any help?" "No, I think I can carry him myself" Daichi said. Daichi tried to lift Suga up. But failed. "Suga, how are you this heavy" Daichi groaned. "Let me help you." Shrek said. Together they carried Daichi to the car.

"Thank you and i'm really sorry about my boyfriend, he's a big fan of yours" Daichi said.
"Oh well it's okay, i will leave you guys alone now." Shrek said before walking away. "So they were together" Shrek thought.

Daichi grabbed a bottle of water and threw it over Suga's head. Suga woke up. "Ouch, my head hurts" Suga said confused. "Yea you've hit the ground pretty hard." Daichi said while laughing. "What happened?" Suga asked. "Well you fainted, you loser." Daichi said. Suga looked at Daichi with confusion:" what, why did I faint? Wait... DID WE JUST MEET SHREK?" Daichi sighted:" Yes we did, and you completely embarrassed us."

The last bit of the car ride Suga just kept rambling about his obsession with Shrek. They got their house key from the reception and they walked to the new house with the receptionist. "I will give you a tour tomorrow, but for now I will let you rest, you must be tired." The receptionist said as she opened the door to the new house....