have you ever read bad smut? like smut that's so bad it uses the phrase "blaze rod" to refer to a dick? well, i've been on the internet since smut was called lemons, and so i've definitely read my fair share of awful porn. so let me help you out! here are hot words/phrases for you to use (and some things to definitely avoid).
FIRST OF ALL: WORDS TO NOT USE
"manhood"/"rod"/"shaft" etc. for dick:
don't do it. please. you sound like you're dancing around it, and it doesn't sound as sophisticated and not-obvious as you might think it does.
some alternatives: literally just- "dick" and "cock". use those. i mean, you could use penis, but it sounds like you're teaching a biology class. colloquialism is okay. go nuts with it (within reason).
"core"/"bud"/"flower" etc. for the clit/vagina:
no. this is somehow even worse imo than the whole "manhood" thing. the whole flower analogy is DEAD, y'all. people have used it so much it's not even poetic anymore, it's just kind of stupid. don't use the flower bit. "bud" in relation to the clit- no. literally just- just say clit, because this sounds too juvenile for a sex scene. also, "core" is a big no. i understand why you'd use it, but it's been so overused that i can't take it seriously anymore.
some alternatives: "pussy", "clit", "hole", "cunt", "folds" (acceptable, but i wouldn't advise it), "lips" (both this and folds in relation to the labia), etc. i know "pussy" is often overused but it isn't cringetastic and it gets the job done.
also, so help me god, if i catch ANY of you writing shit like "their tongues battled for dominance", i will be writing you a strongly-worded dm. it's incredibly overused and realistically what does it add to the scene that couldn't be conveyed with other words? i made the mistake of writing this exact line when i first started writing smut and reading it now makes me want to beat my past self over the head with an encyclopedia. DON'T DO THIS.
some alternatives: teeth clicking (especially if it's a rough scene). the use of the word "bruising" when talking about kissing. biting someone's lower lip. swirling/flicking tongues. just about ANYTHING BUT "their tongues battled for dominance".
ON WRITING DIRTY TALK
i've seen so much on the internet. so much. that means i've also seen the same dirty talk multiple times, especially in wattpad books. people, you have to switch it up. you really do. if i can't tell your sex scene from a different scene in a different book, you have a problem.
most dirty talk i've seen goes something like this (from the top in the scene): "you're so tight" or "you like that", and i hate to break it to y'all, but it's boring and repetitive, and gets less and less hot after a while.
now, you might be asking- "yeah, yeah, jay, you keep telling us how garbage stuff is- why don't you tell us how to do it better?" and you'd be right, so let's get into that, shall we?
first, before anything else, you have to know how your sex scene is going to go. who's on top? do they switch? is there kink involved? what kind? there are a bazillion questions to answer, but most of them answer themselves as you figure out what you're going to write. when i write smut, i decide right away who tops and who bottoms, because it makes writing the scene a lot easier.
second, you should understand your characters. is this a fanfic? (no shade to fanfic writers, btw- i write fanfiction a lot and it can be really good for improving your writing skills. not to mention some of the best writing i've read has come from fanfiction.) if it's fanfiction, you should know how the characters talk and act in general, but also how they do those things around each other in order to keep them in character. (unless it's a crackfic, in which case i don't care and it doesn't matter what you do.)
if your smut is for an original story, you should still know your characters and how they interact with not only each other, but with the other people in their lives. is your love interest a mafia boss with a control freak-esque personality? then they might be more dominant in bed. or it could be the complete opposite- they have to be in control all the time, and so they're happy to give it up to their partner in the bedroom (i advise this second one as it's a nice twist).
once you have those two things locked in, you should be good to start.
"but jay, i thought this was the chapter on writing dirty talk, not how to write a smut scene!"
those two things go hand in hand, pal! cant have one without the other.
dirty talk can be anything, to be honest (crackfic writers, i'm looking at you). but my number one rule for it is:
don't be repetitive.
oh, you can say stereotypical things, like the examples i used above, but just keep in mind that the more you use them, the less life your scene has. there are a million other things to say during sex.
some of my favorite lines from my own smut works (names changed so i don't expose myself):
"'Bobby,' Daniel rasps. 'Oh, my good boy.' He looks up just in time to see Robert close his eyes and press his lips together, swallowing back a noise. Daniel reaches up and grasps Robert's chin- 'Don't hide from me,' he rumbles, 'I want to hear you.'"
"'You gonna let me, baby? You gonna let your Daddy come down your pretty little throat?'"
"'I wish you could see yourself, darling. You're so pretty, down on your knees for me.'"
see what i mean? there's literally so much more out there, and this is just basic stuff. we didn't even get creative with it.
but you can also skip dirty talk like this completely, if you don't feel comfortable writing it, and just go for things like cursing ("fuck, fuck, fuck-"), taking the lord's name in vain ("oh, god, god, please"), and incoherent sounds, though i don't advise putting that in quotes (like "ah, ah"). what you can do in that instance is just a simple "he let out a soft noise" or something to that effect.
on the complete opposite side of the spectrum, we have more elaborate dirty talk, the kind you'll sometimes see in hannigram fanfic (yeah hannibal fans, i'm looking right at you). it's not conventional, but it can work for some characters and, when done well, can still be really hot.
but the relative hotness of a sex scene doesn't rely entirely on dirty talk, which is why this is a whole book as opposed to one chapter on dirty talk and then sealing the deal, y'know? and we'll go over the other things that make smut hot in later chapters.
anyway, i hope this helped you, and as always, leave any questions you might have in the comments. (or drop some smut you want reviewed! i can help beta that stuff. nothing STRANGE, y'all- just lines you want opinions on. you have 2k characters, make it count.) love ya <3
xxx jay
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how to write smut
Non-Fictiontrying to write some steamy stuff? here's a book of tips of how to go about it without looking stupid or writing a hella boring erotic scene. KINK/BDSM INCLUDED! *this is for mature audiences* copyright whatever year this is, i cannot conceptualize...
