𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬【𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧】

7

~this chapter has self harm!~

"Oh my god. Am I going to find you guys kissing next?"

Aubrey's arms were folded like a teacher scolding her student.

"I was cleaning up his knee, Aubs. That's it," Geoff replied calmly.

Awsten couldn't decide which person to focus on, so his eyes flitted between the two.

"So he couldn't put a fucking rag on his knee by himself?"

Geoff put his hand on his forehead. "Oh my god, Aubrey. This is ridiculous."

Aubrey rolled her eyes and huffed. "You know what? This is the last straw. If I see you guys getting all lovey again, it's over."

She turned and left, and Geoff followed close behind, slamming the door. Awsten was alone on the bathroom counter in shock. Their friends were out by the campfire, so at least he didn't have to worry about anyone hearing the fight.

Awsten did hear Geoff raising his voice to Aubrey as they marched around the cabin, though. He made out phrases like "I'm not gay!" and "we're just friends!"

Awsten wondered in tears if Geoff didn't believe them as much as Awsten didn't.

Awsten was ruining everything. He was taking his best friend away from his girlfriend. She had every single right to be upset.

Suddenly, he got an urge that he hadn't felt in quite some time- he wanted to hurt himself. Maybe if he spilled his own blood things would be okay. Aubrey could forgive him.

Awsten was numb to the world, and the only thing on his mind was finding a razor. He kneeled down and began rummaging through the overflowing cabinet. Paper towel, toothpaste, toilet paper, ouch- razor.

The small slice on his finger began oozing and the need to make more cuts heightened.

Sitting there on the bathroom floor, alone, Awsten pushed up his sleeves and stared at the old scars. What was he thinking earlier? He had every reason to make them, and he needed more. He deserved them.

With a sudden movement, he dug the razor deep into his wrist. Fresh blood oozed from what once was a thin white scar. Awsten winced a little before making another deep gash directly below it.

"I fucking hate you," he muttered to himself, "stay away from Geoff."

There were no tears- just flesh and blood and Awsten on the floor.

Another gash.

Awsten's left arm was something from a horror movie at that point. He couldn't stop. It was like muscle memory- slash after slash after slash until there was no space left, and he had to move to the other wrist.

Why couldn't he leave Geoff alone? Why couldn't he let him be happy? Why couldn't he let Aubrey just live her life? Why was he- why was he like that? He ruined every fucking thing like always. Maybe it was just in his nature.

Soon, there was no space left, and Awsten came back to reality. His arms burned feverishly.

There were so many cuts. There was blood all over the floor and on his legs and hoodie. He was frozen for a moment while he stared at the bloody mess on his arms.

Awsten began to cry again.

He could never hide these.

And what- what if Geoff saw? He began shaking as he put his hands in his hair.

"Oh my god," he whispered through sobs, "what the fuck is wrong with me?"

The bathroom looked like a murder scene. Awsten's uncontrollable shakes just caused more blood to seep from his wounds, which wasn't helping the situation. He had the overwhelming urge to pass out or throw up.