Reincarnated as an Ugly Step Sister

Chapter 35

I never fully fall asleep. The entire night my brain jumps back and forth from how far I've come already, how abused I felt last night, and how lonely I am from holding the secret of my identity for so long. There are times that I'm preoccupied with some other problem or so happy with my life now that I don't worry about it but then I have days where it haunts me.

I estimate it's 4:00 when I give up trying to fall asleep. I tiptoe over to my bag that only contains a few items. I push my only dress aside and rifle through the only knick knacks I have. Finally, I find it. The journals I bought when I first came to this world. I've filled the first one completely and half of the second one. I used to write in them constantly, when my world was simple and I spent my days with Cinderella and Chase. As things got more complicated I stopped writing as much. I still brought the notebooks everywhere, no one could find them if they're always with me. I hug the journals to my chest. They aren't a person to talk to but they help me organize my thoughts.

I pull a quill and some ink out of Nicholas's bag. I light a candle to see the paper then curl up in my chair, balance the notebook on my knee, and write everything I'm feeling. My discomfort that comes from the way that man treated me last night, the fear that I have stolen someone's body, and my concern that I will ruin Chase and Nicholas's lives even more by making them come with me on a quest that could take years.

I write a total of seven pages. When I'm done I put my notebooks away and replace the quill and ink. While I'm reaching into Nicholas's bag my hand brushes an envelope. I glance at the bed, Nicholas and Chase are still sleeping peacefully. I turn the envelope over and in the dim candle light I see it's addressed to Miola. Curiosity gets the best of me and I open it. This is what it says:

Dear Princess Miola,

It is with great shame and regret that I inform you I cannot marry you. You are truly a lovely person and I have enjoyed getting to know you but I have feelings for someone else. It feels wrong having feelings for another woman while still being engaged to you, so before I act on it I want to break off our betrothal. I'm sorry I didn't bring this up while I was staying at your castle, my nerves got the best of me.

Wishing you the best of luck on your journey,

Prince Nicholas

I can hardly comprehend what I just read. His handwriting is so fancy that I almost can't understand it. The contents of the letter are also hard for me to comprehend. How could he break off his engagement? Who does he have feelings for? My heart skips a beat. Could it be... no. Perhaps he has fallen in love with Cinderella and he will get his happily ever after. Whatever this note means, it will end with someone getting hurt. Even if Miola isn't in love with Nicholas, their parents will be enraged when they find out. My heart sinks. I need to confront him about this but how? How can I say "I was snooping through your bag and learned you like-like someone so you're dumping Miola. Who do you like? And also stop because you have to marry her or your parents will kill you."

I know I'll have to confront him about this. Part of me wants to wake him up and do it right now but the other part of me is too nervous. I decide that I'll bring it up the moment we're alone together. For now I put the letter back in the envelope and slip it into his bag.

Now I'm more awake then I have been all night but I'm so sick of this room and being alone with my thoughts so I decide it's been long enough since I last bathed. Hot water is hard to get, especially at this hour, so I decide to go downstairs and boil it myself. The kitchen is empty since it's not even 5:00 yet so I have access to the stove. I get two big buckets and fill one of them at the well outside the kitchen. I heat that bucket and fill the second one with water while the first is boiling. When it's done then I put the second bucket on the stove and bring the one with hot water to the bathtub. By the time I've refilled it with water, the second bucket is boiled. I repeat six times which takes half an hour. By the time I've filled the tub I'm sweaty, tired, and so distracted by my process that my brain has finally shut up. This is a trick I learned when I first came to this world. Cinderella usually made our baths but when I was overthinking things it always helped to draw it myself. To be perfectly honest, I don't like baths. You're trying to wash your body in water but the dirt goes into the water so how do you ever get clean? Showers haven't been invented here though, so I've bathed for months but always with a hint of contempt.

My mind finally quiets and I get the most rest I have all night. The tub is too small for me to drown if I fall asleep and no one will be awake for a while so I drift off to sleep. The good news is that I sleep for a few hours. The bad news is I look like a prune when I wake up. The terrible news is that I wake up to the sound of someone coming into the bathroom.

"Holy shi-," I hear.

My eyes fly open and I jump up automatically. "Chase! Oh my god!" My hands clumsily try to cover my privates but I know he's seen it all, unfortunately while my skin is all pruny. Our eyes lock for a moment as we both try to figure out what to do next. "Could you hand me that towel?" I ask, my voice small with embarrassment. "I can't believe you, of all people, walked in on me bathing."

He chuckles, "Yeah, that was pretty lucky, huh?"

"Ugh, look away will you?" He turns and I wrap my body in the towel and step out of the tub. "Forget this all happened, okay?"

"Nope. I'm going to hold this over your head forever." He's still facing the door. "You know, there's this thing called a lock, you use it to stop people from walking in on you while you're naked."

"Haha," I say sarcastically. "I must have forgotten to lock it since I came in so early."

"Really, what time?"

"Uh, like 5:30 I'm guessing. I couldn't sleep until I got in the tub. Then I couldn't wake up."

Chase laughs again.

"Shut up," I say. "You can turn around but you can never look me in the eye again."

Chase breaks out in laughter again. When he finally regains his composure he says, "I'm going to bathe now, did you pee in the water?"

"No, but it may be a little cold."

"Ah, that's fine. The fewer people who bathe before you, the better. No matter how warm the water is."

"Alright, I'm going up to our room to die now," I say as I walk out. I can hear Chase laughing through the closed door.

My face is still flushed with embarrassment when I get to our room. I throw myself onto the bed and groan into a pillow.

"Everything alright?" Nicholas asks, chuckling at my entrance.

"No, Chase saw me naked."

"What why?" Nicholas asks, all the laughter gone from his voice.

"Ugh, I fell asleep in the bath and he walked in. My skin was all pruny so I looked like my grandmother!" Nicholas doesn't say anything for a moment. I roll over to look at him. "Are you going to console me?"

"Well I was but we're talking about you naked. I didn't want to come off as a creep or anything."

I burst out laughing. "I appreciate that."

"Why were you sleeping in the bath anyway?" he asks, sitting beside me on the bed.

"I couldn't fall asleep last night so I thought a bath might calm my thoughts. It worked a little too well since I slept in that tub for hours."

"Why couldn't you sleep?" I watch absentmindedly as he fiddles with a piece of paper. A few folds in and I recognize he's making a crane.

"Every once in a while I have nights where my brain won't shut up and I lie awake for hours. It was just one of those nights I guess."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Next time you have a night like that feel free to wake me up to talk." He finishes the crane and places it in the space between us.

"Thanks," I say. It suddenly occurs to me that now is the time to tell Nicholas I read his note. It's something I have to do but I still dread it. I'm exhausted, hungry, and nervous about what this might do to our friendship. I recall an exercise I used to do when I was dreading things. Countdown from five. Give myself five seconds to prepare myself.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

"Nicholas," I say. "We need to talk."