After Us

Chapter One

My motivation was running low, and, after this year, it'll probably never grow. It's always down at the end of the school year so I wasn't surprised. However, this year seemed to be more of a struggle than any other. The difference between this year and the others was that this was the first year I had ever had a boyfriend, that's probably why it was such a difficult one.

But should it be a struggle to have a boyfriend?

I've asked myself this question numerous times now and the answer was always no. That's one of the reasons why Ben and I broke up. Ben and I had been dating pretty much since the second month of sophomore year. We had fun while it lasted but as we got to where are now, things changed and so did his feelings for me. He told me he still had feelings for the girl he used to date. Now it's the last week of school until summer starts and I have no idea what I will do with my life.

I have a vision of my dream self in mind and I feel so far away from being the person I dream to be. I want to be a confident, happy person that is really talented at something, but, I'm not. I'm just a boring sixteen year old girl who has eleven different styles of Converse neatly put away in her closet. I guess my strange shoe collection makes me unique so I wouldn't say I'm entirely straight forward or boring.

The whole situation with Ben and I just made me feel like shit. I have wanted a boyfriend ever since I saw my first Princess movie and I saw a Prince for the first time. Sadly the boys at San Bixton High were not Princes at all. Ben was the one boy I could find who was closest and who stood out from the rest, but that didn't even work out and, properly never will, especially now his arms are around some other girl.

All I need is something new. I have no idea what that something new was, but apparently, it was the new Snickers milkshake at Pepple's Diner.

    "Isn't it like the best thing ever?" Oliver asked.

    I grabbed a napkin and wiped off the cream around my mouth. "It's too sweet." I laughed.

    "Annalise." he stared, "It's a goddamn milkshake, of course, it's going to be sweet." He took the drink back and placed it in front of him and we both laughed. Oliver was the smart funny gay best friend I always needed. He is the light in our friendship and he's kept me going throughout all these years that we've been friends. He always helps me study for math tests and is my Therapist that I don't even need to pay. Due to my social anxiety and my empty social calendar, he's the only friend I have.

    He put the salt and pepper shakers off to one side so he could have more space in case we ordered fries. "I want to do something this summer," I say resting my arms on the table.

    "So do I." he agrees. "I just don't know what." He looks at me and we both frown and look down. I have a vision of what I want to do but my vision involves a group of friends and since I don't have one, there's no place to start.

I rest my head down in my arms, "I would do anything to have just one amazing teenage summer." I say. Before we could even start to brainstorm this brilliant idea of ours, John Lanster and his football team come roaring in through the old diner doors. The whole diner looked confused but just laughed it off. This town was full of strange things and this was definitely one of them. As I looked over at the rest of the team, I see Ben. He was already looking at me which made the eye contact thing way more awkward. He smiled but I looked away.

"Could I please get this to go?" Oliver asked one of the waitresses.

"Course, can I get you two anything else?" she asked.

Oliver looked at me and I smiled and shook my head no. "That's all, thank you." he said.

"No problem, I'll get this right out to you." she smiled and reached over to take the metal milkshake cup away. Meanwhile, John, the attention seeker, started to make his way to the counter tables where Oliver and I sat.

"Annalise!" He says, wrapping his big bulky arms around me. "What's up?"

I release his grip and turn back around, "Hi Johnny." He rolled his eyes, he hates the name Johnny but I always call him that. In the corner of my eye, I see Ben watching and slowly making his way over.

"Are you coming to the game tonight?" John asks.

"Not our thing," Oliver replies, "always next year though."

"No one gives a shit about any other game but the last one of the year, you have to come." Oliver just laughed it off and when I looked to my side I saw Ben standing there.

"Hey Anne," he says. I felt ill with him standing next to me. He dumped me for his ex and never talks to me ever since that day, and the first thing he says is hey. I guess it's the best way to start a conversation. I have been trying to avoid him for so long now and now I see him.

"Hey," I say back then, giving Oliver the 'it's time to go look'.

"You should come, I never see you guys there." John continues. God why can't he give it up, we're not coming.

The waitress from earlier comes back around and hands Oliver his milkshake but now, in a paper cup. Oliver thanks her and we both get up. "Nice seeing you guys," Oliver says, I look at Ben and he looks down awkwardly.

"See you later," John yells. No, we won't, I say under my breath.