After Us

Chapter Nine

Luca was heading back to college soon so I wanted to make sure I could spend as much time with him as possible. Austin is hardly ever around, so the time I have with Luca is always precious. We decided to camp out on the hill near our house. Our annual summer tradition when we were younger. We got everything we needed, sleeping bags, water, pillows, and of course blankets. It was hot already so I doubted we needed them but we took them just in case. Being in a tent made me feel like a little kid again, I felt protected and safe just being surrounded by fluffy pillows. We unzipped the top of the tent so we could see the stars. The sky was so clear, one massive sheet of glass with little glittering dots in the wide expanse of space.

Luca lied back and grabbed an extra pillow, "Just like old times," he softly smiled. I smiled remembering when Austin, Luca, and I used to sleep in here altogether. The tent felt so big and here we were now with barely enough room for the two of us. I grabbed my water and some of our secret stash of candy and climbed into my sleeping bag. The outdoor lights of the house went off and we both knew mom and dad were going to sleep. "They go to bed so early." Luca laughed.

"Probably because dad needs to rest for work." I rolled my eyes digging through the candy bag for my favorite pieces.

"Why the eyes?" Luca asked. "He works a lot so it makes sense doesn't it?"

"I know that, obviously, it's just annoying how his life is all about work," I say, still shuffling through the candy bag.

"He just has a lot on right now. He'll make time for you if that's what you want." Luca explained. I finally find the piece that I was looking for and put the rest of the bag down and look up at him.

"No I don't care about that," I say unwrapping the price I found.

"Sounds like you do," he sat up eyes facing mine.

"I don't, it's just annoying how we never see each other, and when we do, he just has a go at me or forbids me to live my life. A couple of nights ago I asked him if I could go on a trip with Miles for just a week and he said no because I was too young. Like, what does he think I'm gonna do? Mom too." Luca didn't say anything he just sat there quietly waiting to see if I wanted to rant some more and I didn't think I was going to, but then it just came out. "All I wanna do is escape from my teenage life and that just can't happen when I've got parents who are holding me back and ruining my plans. We're not even going on vacation this summer so why does it matter that I go? They even know Miles, it's not like I'm running away with some druggy guy who's way older than me."

He nods and his eyes fill with empathy as I throw him the bag of candy.

He catches it, "So tell them that." He says. Luca was right, this trip wouldn't be happening if I didn't talk to them more about it.

I stayed awake all night planning and thinking through ideas about what I was going to say. The next morning, I even made breakfast and a pot of tea like we use to. Dad came downstairs first, ready for work.

"Wow," he said and looked up at me. "Ann this looks great. What's the occasion?"

"Just breakfast." I lie. It was nice to see him smile and respond positively to something that I had done.

"Should I get your mom?" He asks. I was about to say yes since I made it for all three of us but talking to dad alone might be better.

"That's alright," I say, "I made your tea." I placed a mug on the table.

"Ann thank you, this looks great but I really do need to get going. Should I just get your mom?" He asks again. I couldn't believe it. I made breakfast extra early so he would have time to eat and yet, he still needed to go.

"No dad, I made breakfast for you. I want to sit down and eat breakfast together like we used to do without work getting in the way." He looked at me confused as if he had no idea what I was talking about. I didn't bother to explain myself, I just continued, "You never have time for your own family anymore and I'm sick of it." The words poured out my mouth, I couldn't help myself. I felt numb, finally explaining. Dad's eyes looked straight at the ground and he didn't say a word. I felt tears in my eyes but I didn't have the energy to wipe them away, I just let them fall. "If you never see me anyways because you're working, why do you even care whether I go on a trip or not?" I ask.

I couldn't read his expression as he sat there still and silent. I was still mad and tears flowed freely. I heard mom's footsteps come down the stairs. "Ann?" She calls, "Are you alright?" I don't answer and she comes into the kitchen. "Wow," she smiled, "this looks lovely." She looks back at me smiling but her smile fades when she sees my tears. "What's happened?" She asked coming over and hugging me.

"I'm fine," I walk away. There was no point in talking to them. Dad wasn't gonna say anything anyways and mom just wouldn't understand. I felt trapped in there and what was the point of trying.

"Ann wait," dad calls. I stop."Don't go, let's talk." He says. I turn around wiping the tears across my eyes."I'm serious, let's talk.'' He says again.

We all just went to the living room to sit. No one talked for the first five minutes, we just sat in silence thinking about what to say. I heard Luca come in from outside but he just went straight upstairs. He probably knew why we were sitting for and didn't want to get involved. Sometimes I wished that I was Luca. He never argued with mom or dad, he was literally the perfect child. He was kind to his siblings, got great grades during high school, now going to a great college, and is perfectly sociable. I was never those things and it just made me feel worse.

"Ann go," dad says, "just go. Go with Miles."

"Dan?" Mom interrupts, "Isn't this a decision between us?" She asks.

"Ann's right. I trust her enough to go and it's not like she's going away with some old druggie guy. It's Miles. I trust the guy." He literally just repeated the exact phrase from my conversation with Luca last night. "Ann you have my permission to go, just text us the adress alright?"

We look at each other and I feel like crying again. Crying of happiness, finally dad agreed with something that was for me and I felt like he understood. "Well I'm okay with it too I guess." Mom smiles, "just be safe alright?"

"Yes, yes, yes to all of those requests. I will." I get up and give them both a hug. "Thank you!" I say. I couldn't stop smiling, I was about to go on a trip just myself and my childhood best friend.

"Yeah," dad smiles, "Ann one more thing. I'm sorry about work, I know I've been but it doesn't mean I don't love you. I really do and I'm really hoping that we'll have more time to spend together once this deal is finished." I took those words to heart. I believed what he said and I couldn't wait for it to happen. I went to give him another hug, knowing that I had some adventures ahead.