Just Friends

Chapter 17

Walking around knowing there's at least one person out there who knows your darkest corners and accepts you anyway changes your entire outlook on things.

It's like taking a deep refreshing breath that physically lifts your feet off the pavement and carries you through each day with sunbeams bursting from your face.

At least that's how I have felt ever since I rolled down the draw bridge of my fortified heart to allow Judd a peak behind my mighty walls. I'm not going to lie - it was hella terrifying, but so fucking liberating. I guess that's why people have always said 'being vulnerable takes strength'.

I get it now.

I mean I'm not ready to go throwing out my issues and feelings like candy at everyone, but I've conquered a fear of letting someone in and I didn't die.

I haven't been able to kick the thought of how well Judd just sat there and listened. He remained neutral, not a trace of pity, and that honestly meant the most to me. It was like he knew exactly what I needed.

No sadness. No advice. No judgement. No questions.

Just pure acceptance.

It had been a few weeks now as we slipped into the crisp autumn November days, and I was extremely glad that things had transformed back to normal between Judd and I. Our friendship was growing stronger as we hung out platonically and studied our asses off together. The flirty playfulness was also still heavily in tact and let's be real, that's always been my favorite part about us.

I didn't feel a rush to jump into a relationship with Judd at the moment since we were both super focused on school and just wanted whatever was to happen between us to form organically rather than diving into it just because we had the green light.

Who knew communication and trust could help two people to flourish so much?

I had in turn been able to learn more about Judd too. I now knew about his family dynamic and previous relationships as well as his last heartbreak. I was drawn to him in the same way he described being drawn to me after knowing more about each other. I just wanted to know it all - his fleeting thoughts at any given moment, how he made decisions, what lead his drive each day. 

Of course my girls loved everything about Judd and I think his roommates were fond of me too as we had been hanging out at each other's places to study so much.

The sizzling sexual tension hasn't budged a fucking inch though. It has been a pure war in my mind to keep it clean when we'd find ourselves alone in one another's rooms.

Some of my best damn self-control exercised right there, man.

But I also know he's caught me blushing, stealing glances when I thought he wasn't paying attention, and squirming in my seat with clenched thighs if we even made the slightest contact. Just the same, I had caught him raking his eyes over me, adjusting his pants, and clearing this throat of groans whenever I bend over or stretch.

If either of those had been done with that exact intent on my part, I can't say.

We've just been in such a great place that I don't think either of us have wanted to jinx it by suggesting we take it further until we know we're ready.

I can't help the feeling like it's just a matter of time, though. The way things are building, we're definitely closing in on the threshold of becoming more than just friends.

"Oh my god, I would never!" I squealed in disgust as I rolled over laughing.

"Come on, be real. Not even for a million fucking dollars..." Judd's disbelief was evident as he cocked an amused brow at me.