Reality Is Stranger Than Fiction

Do You Feel It? (Chaos Chaos)

You were sprawled across Ford's bed, your head hanging off the side, fully dressed, as he stood in his bathroom "shaving". It mostly involved lighting his face on fire... which you didn't entirely agree with, but, despite your best efforts, he wouldn't stop. You'd long since given up on convincing him otherwise.

"... so how are we going to explain the situation to Dipper?" you asked, continuing on your morning conversation.

"Perhaps it'd be best to explain everything to him. Then we don't have to answer needless questions in the crash site," Ford hums, the click of a familiar lighter following his words.

"Want me to go get him?" you question, already moving to get up from the bed.

"No, no, there's no need. Just, give me a moment -" he stops talking and the familiar scent of singed hair fills the room. You pull your shirt up to your nose as he shouts from the bathroom: "DIPPER, MY FACE IS ON FIRE!"

Within moments, Dipper is running into the room as Ford walks out of the bathroom, wiping his face with a towel. You're standing upright this time, rolling your shoulders.

"Great Uncle Ford, are you okay?" Dipper squeaks when he catches sight of Ford's burning face.

"Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly," Ford assures him, dabbing at his face as you duck into the bathroom to grab his aftershave. He always waited a minute before using it, just to make sure his face had stopped smoking.

"But your face is on fire," Dipper points out, causing you to snort in the bathroom.

"Yes, it's much faster than shaving. Now, listen, Dipper. We have a very important mission, and you are the only one who can help us -" he pauses in his words to pull the rift from its case as you lean against the doorframe - "Remember the rift in dimensional space-time I showed you? It's cracking."

Ford points to the obvious crack and Dipper's face pales.

"This is what Bill has been waiting for. If it breaks, it will cause reality as we know it to completely unravel. A hypothetical and catastrophic event I call Weirdmageddon." You watch as Ford walks across the room to the blackboard he'd shoved in the corner earlier that morning while the two of you had been discussing the possibilities of different outcomes. You take the rift from him, exchanging him for his aftershave.

"Bill is out there, and he'd use any trick, from deception to outright possession, to make this happen. But for the sake of humanity, we mustn't let it," Ford explains, gesturing to the finer points on the blackboard.

"This means you too, Dipper. You've been possessed once, so you're more susceptible to him. Ford and I are safer, as we have the plates, but you're going to need to be extremely careful," you warn, placing the rift away carefully in its briefcase.

"What do we do?" Dipper questions, already taking out his notebook and scribbling down Ford's notes.

"We patch the rift. We'll explain on the way," Ford says, dabbing the aftershave onto his face as he walks back to place it away in the bathroom.

"Wait, what about Mabel?" Dipper asks, glancing nervously towards the doorway.

"It's okay, Dipper. You should totally go with Grunkle Ford and Grunle (Y/N) to save the world or whatever," she says, holding two backpacks with walkie-talkies shoved inside of them.

You tense at her words. You'd told her not to call you her Grunkle, as that was for Ford and Stan and you didn't want to insert yourself into her life without talking to either of them first. You feel Ford's gaze fall to you, and internally you prepare to reprimand Mabel when - Ford places his hand on your shoulder, pulling you flush to his side.