A Bit

*A  bit*
I had a number of thoughts.
I cut off a number of people but I still have them, guess that didn't solve any problem, I might have just lost some real ones, I can only blame me.

A lot of it i can still remember and maybe added more to my collection, a whole new genre formed by my own hands.
leaving casualties in my own way. Throwing them down the drain isn't as easy as It seems to be.

I changed who I am, who I wanted to be, who am supposed to be just to have a clear lane of thoughts, a clear root of sense of what I've got, had or going to get.
Maybe my recovery comes with change, but my convalescence is from my recovery.

I relapsed by thinking who I am is not what am supposed to be and it cost me a lot of me.
I deleted the original self, I erased myself and my comprehensive me was the little I had left in me... 

only a bit of me is left and I can only see it when I get a chance to look at the boy's image in the mirror.
A very quick glance can show me, a hard stare will let go of me.

A pain to clear my natural essence has come to haunt me. I damaged my house of memories.
the embedded demons I cast away are the ones that might bring back my rightful play, and the remedies of my new self have led me dismay.

Now I prey that a legion brings me back to bay. Teddy bears and kisses have never been a part of me, but the gangsta I have transformed to now cries for warm hands that could hold me.

The little bit of my old me, the child self wants to be free. Releasing it will mean consuming the whole lot of me and I wonder if this recovery will want a recovery from me.