"you know i don't love you, right?" - wilhemina venable

3

Quick note: This starts off with a quick diary entry by y/n. All diary entries are in italics. She's been at the Outpost for a month and a few weeks. (Sorry I haven't specified earlier, but their "affair" started after around a month of y/n being at the Outpost)

(Smut warning !!)

Please read all notes for clarity reasons!

Day XLIX

I can't stand that woman. She's incredibly hot, but Christ is she insufferable. I was perfectly fine with her not giving me special treatment, but singling me out and treating me even worse? I would have called it off had she not been so irresistible. 

-y/n

Wilhemina must get some sort of kick out of torturing people. Maybe she's a sadist. Whatever she is, all I know is that, for a while, I didn't like it. Not outside of the bedroom, at least. With most people, she'd slam the end of her cane against the floor to get them to look at her when they were speaking; with me, she'd grab my chin, usually whispering, "Look at me when I'm speaking to you, Miss l/n."

I had no choice but to reply with the same phrase, over and over again: "Yes, Ms Venable."
I didn't dare tell her anything, though. If that was what she wanted, that was what she got. I didn't like her, she was horrible, but the things she did to me when she was pleased with my behaviour...

I had been going to her room for weeks, days fading into said weeks when the days outnumbered my ability to keep counting in them, and weeks fading into months when they formed just too many to keep like a calendar. Most diary entries were just the date.

Day XLIX

Day L

I let these dates fizzle out, and I'd just mark the month, followed by little strikes underneath to keep track.

Month III

Month IV

Month V

I did this until I had something to write. Most days had been rather uneventful, same routine: Breakfast, reading, lunch, more reading, dinner, reading as a decoy before I slipped off to Wilhemina's room, and finally, the immense pleasure I experienced with her. One night in particular was so amazing I made my first diary entry in months about it the following morning.

I can't believe I let this happen to me. She was so horrible, such a cold bitch, but last night... Last night. The night when she let me see everything. Each night, for months, it had been the same thing: Wilhemina being a hardcore sadistic top, but after my begging, after she finally let me pleasure her.

Flashback to last night

To my delight, Wilhemina's hunger for me never seemed to subside. Like most nights prior, she greeted me by pulling me in by the collar and closing the door, giving no time for me to think before her lips were on mine. This was just about the only thing that stayed consistent. Each night had something new; something exciting and different. Each night left me out of breath and in utter disbelief at the immense pleasure she'd been able to give me. Each night I found myself still longing for something more. During that kiss in particular, I realized what it was. "Wilhemina?" I whispered against her lips, pulling away just slightly. 

"Yes?" She seemed a little annoyed, eager to get back to kissing me, but she let me speak.

"Do you think it would be okay if I pleasured you?" I normally would have been much more awkward and scared to say such a thing, but Wilhemina had made it clear that she hated this. She'd rather people just "spit it out," as she said. She was upfront; she liked other people to be upfront, too.

She raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical about my request, but the months of our little affair seemed to sway her. "Fine."

Her expression was blank and cold, but seemed to lighten up when a smile darted across my lips at her response. She fully relaxed when I placed a gentle kiss on her lips. After that kiss came several more, until I had her beneath me on her bed. "Is there anything I should know?" I whispered, my hands undoing her dress.

"Yes, actually," she said, stopping me and sitting up. "You've been very good about not prying when it comes to the cane, so I think now is an appropriate time to explain." She let out a long exhale, not completely a sigh, but more of a subtle movement to calm her down before she stood up and undid the rest of her dress. "I have scoliosis," she said. "A pretty... severe case."

"Oh, Mina," I whispered. It was a nickname I'd given her only a few weeks ago, but she seemed to like it. I stood up, placing my hands on her upper arms and kissing the back of her neck before slowly moving down her back, whispering between kisses, "You're beautiful."

A relieved sigh left her lips, and she turned around, tilting my chin up so she could kiss me again. I led her back to the bed, laying her down carefully before removing her undergarments and kissing down her bare chest. "y/n, please," she whispered. "I know I've been horrible about letting you finish, but be nice and I'll give you a reward, okay?"

I nodded, kissing up her inner thighs.

"Good girl."

God, the things those words did to me.

"y/n."

I had been teasing. Letting my lips just barely graze over her center wasn't doing it for her. "Okay, okay," I whispered, "I'm sorry." I definitely gave her what she wanted. She didn't want teasing? She didn't get teasing. Rather, she got one of the most hardcore sessions I'd ever given. My fingers were in and out of her faster than either of we could comprehend, and my lips didn't fail in giving her clit every sensation it needed.

She sounded almost angelic. The noises she made were more glorious than a symphony, they gave me the feeling I had when listening to very first piece I had composed for the first time. I was only fifteen then, and listening to my first finished work left me in such awe and raw happiness I hadn't forgotten a second of it in the many years that had passed since then. (y/n is a consenting adult yuhh we stan). "y/n, I'm so- fuck, I'm so close," she moaned.

"Keep going for me, okay? You're doing so well." It was a side of me I hadn't brought out in a while, but dom y/n was... she was fun. She was hot. Is hot.

"y/n," was all she managed to get out.

"Go ahead, baby."

If she didn't sound good already, Christ did she sound good then. Each possible sound spilled forth from those beautiful lips when she met her release. "y/n, oh my god, y/n, that was amazing," she breathed, making desperate gestures for me to get closer.

I nodded, getting back on top so I could kiss her again. She smiled into it, looking into my eyes for a few seconds before kissing me again. This part of her was new. She was... sweet.

End flashback, continuation of diary entry

I had never experienced anything so amazing. It was like I had a revelation or something. How could this cruel, sadistic woman turn into someone soft and sweet... and even vulnerable? I think I might be falling in love with her. No. I'm falling in love with her. It was hard to admit a few weeks ago. She was still cruel, but something beneath that front tugged at me. It was so easy to make excuses, say that she was horrible, but now? Now I have to admit it. I'm in love with her.

"y/n?" Wilhemina said. "You're late for breakfast." She looked down at my lap, eyes fixating on the diary. "What's this?" she asked, picking it up.