a message from leo - mileven

one

one
'aries'

"ooh you've gained five hundred grams in a week! i'm so proud of you el." the taller women with a stethoscope wrapped around her neck exclaimed with a bright smile on her face.

el felt her lungs close up and a small slither of guilt trail into her heart, as her bambi eyes looked down at the scale her feet rested on.

her eyes readjusted to the small number her body weighed. she gave her doctor a small smile although feeling bad for knowing that the new improvement was only because of the three pairs of panties she wore and the rocks hidden in her pockets.

"it's because you stopped ballet. a few more kilos and you will be able to dance again." lane her doctor took out a pen and wrote down the number on her chart.

oh right, another lie.

seven months ago, el was told to stop ballet. fortunately for her, the conversation between her and lane was never spread to her mother. meaning the older woman was unaware of the desire lane had for her daughter's health.

so el continued to dance.

she walked out of the clinical room with lane following behind her and towards her mother who sat in the waiting room playing with the end of her skirt.

"she gained five hundred grams!" the blonde women said to her mother.

terry ives rose from the hard seat and pulled her daughter close to her. holding her tightly before kissing her caramel curls.

"oh honey i'm so proud of you! this is so good." terry cried out feeling a small tear fall down her cheek.

— — —

later in the day when el's dainty figure was wrapped in her ballet attire and her feet were suffocated by her light pink point shoes.

she was finally able to clear her mind, as she pulled out her phone to reply to a message she hadn't read yet.

she had first met leo, last year in the summer. when her doctor had suggested she try out an online chat for other teenagers like her who also had mental disorders.

at first she thought it was stupid but then she started talking to leo and after awhile they exchanged numbers. ever since then they had talked every day.

leo was sixteen and probably the most anxious person on the planet. even through his messages you could tell just how nervous he was, so much so, it felt like you were just standing beside him. but he was also the most caring and kindest person she'd ever talked to. he always made her giggle and a light glow of red tint her cheeks. and el was pretty sure if she actually knew him she would definitely be in love with him.

aries,

if you saw me today you would have been so proud.

i did my presentation on the film i made for my media arts assessment, it was in front of the whole class.

and i only stuttered once, although my chest felt tight and my hands were covered in sweat. though i still did it!

the whole class thought it was really cool. and a girl even came up to me after class just to tell me how amazing she thought it was.

after the short chat with her, it suddenly occurred to me that she might of been you. that thought alone almost give me an anxiety attack. but then i remembered you were way too cool to take media arts as an elective.

how was the doctors? please tell me you put on REAL weight. i know you're scared and it's hard, but there's only three months until summer and you don't want to spend your holidays cooped up in a hospital bed like you did last summer, do you?

if you ever need encouragement, we can try calling.

leo.

el felt a smile stretch on her lips and her heart skip a beat at the last line of his message. a few months ago el had suggested that they call but mike always tried to avoid the question as it made him quite anxious. though all he wanted to do was hear aries sweet voice, he was far too nervous. to which he always apologised for steering away from her suggestion after he had explained his fears. resulting in a completely content el, in whom was happy to wait. so was he really willing to call just to encourage her?

leo,

i'm SUPER proud of you! i can't believe you stood up in front of everyone and showed them just how talented you are.

you never did send me your film, i would love to see it.

this is why you do need to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. i promise to eat more if you promise to go to that party your friends want to go to on the weekend.

i can guarantee you that girl wasn't me as i didn't go to school today and it's not likely we live near each other anyway. whoever she was did she have dirty finger nails because that would really be out of my comfort zone.

funny that you bring up weight because i gained five hundred grams. well, i didn't actually but i have been trying a lot harder. i even thought about telling my mum about ballet, but then i realised that she probably wouldn't let me dance ever again and i can't live with that. so i decided against that but just know that i'm trying.

and i would be really happy to call you as long as you're ready. and even if you are not i'll wait, i will always wait for you.

aries.

her friend who was on the other side of the room filling her water bottle up noticed the shy smile that took over el's features.

"spill." the redhead smirked, taking a sip of the cold water before sitting in front of her.

"oh it was leo." el fiddled with the laces of her point shoes, tugging and pulling at the silk.

"what does he look like?"

el shrugged "i don't know i haven't ever seen him."

"yet you're in love with him." max gave el a knowing smile.

"i am not."

el wishes she wasn't kidding because she knew the truth, and max was far from wrong.

a/n
thank you for reading
a message from leo.

<3