என்னை சுடும் பனி

~ என்னை சுடும் பனி- 1 ~

Mullai held the pen and the letters flowed from it, as her eyes looked into the book now and then, from which she copied the words. Her hands moved on its own accord and her mind had very little to engage in the job Kanna had requested her to do for him, in the late hours of the evening when the night added extra black to her already grey thoughts. Her mind kept replaying the words Kathir spoke on her face that very morning, in spite of the constant pleas of her heart to let her alone. She heard it so clearly even after hours like he stood there shouting those exact words again and again, "Ey... enna unnala solla mudiyathathellam ivangala vechu solla vekuriya...", she asked herself a hundred times that day whether he really thought she would do anything even close to that. Even after being completely herself with him- be it anger, displeasure or hate- she had shown it all on his face like he does it to her too and he thought that she would join hands with others in degrading him. The mere assumption itself made her shrink with disgust for what image his mind held of her.

But his next set of words were even more agonising, they were arrows that hit her heart questioning her existence within his premises, "ishtam irukuravanga irundha pothum... irundhe aaganum nu yaarum sollalaiye...unga veetla thaan periya room irukula ivunga kitta sollu kootitu povaanga...". She did agree that their married life was not a bed of roses and they had more disagreements, to be precise, only disagreements since they were tied up for life. But that doesn't mean she would want him to leave her forever, she did have high hopes for a beautiful future with the both of them together. This was the second time she heard him say that her absence in his life would mean nothing to him. Though she knew it had been uttered in a fit of rage for what her athaachi spoke of him, she couldn't justify him for letting her down for no wrong of hers. The part of her soul which had begun to have a soft corner for him in the recent past pained the most that moment.

Dhanam pulled her out of her not-so-pleasant reverie by asking, "Yen Mulla... chithappa kitta sollitiya unna naalaiku vandhu kootitu poga solli...", before she could finish off her sentence, Kanna couldn't back from putting forth his doubts, "Mullai anni enga poreenga naalaiku...". Dhanam took up the task of answering Kanna before Mullai did have her word, "Mullai konja naal avunga veetla poyi thangitu varen nu sonna da... adhaan naalaiku avunga appa vandhu kootitu povaaru... naa mama kitta innum pesala Mulla... mama vela vishayama veli ooru poyirukaaru la phone edukala...". Mullai nodded her head saying, "illa ka Moorthy mama kitta kettutu apram solren nu thaan appa ta sonnen... pakathula thaana veedu... sonna odane vandhuruvaaru onnum prechana illa ka...".

Kanna felt bad that he would miss Mullai for the next few days, she had turned out to be his constant companion whenever he was at home and she would sit there listening to everything he had to say with a smile on her face. He told out loud his wish that he would be the happiest if she doesn't leave them even if it was for only a few days, "Anni... neenga pona enaku romba bore adikume... neenga llama nallave irukaathu... yen dhideernu unga veetuku poren nu solreenga...", his affection towards her always had made her feel the blissfulness of a tree's shade after a long day in the sun and her heart swelled with happiness that at least a few at home would miss her presence amidst them, "yen da unaku assignment eluthi thara aal iruka maataangala...".

He rolled his eyes, "enna anni neenga... evalo serious ah pesaren neenga comedy panreenga...", Dhanam let out her feelings too which did really touch Mullai's heart, "aama Mulla... ithana varushama thaniyave thaan irupen naal poora... nee vandha piragu thaan vela ellam pesi sirichu panrom athoda kashtame theriyurathu illa... unga appa amma thaniya irukaanga nee ponum nu aasai padurathu puriyuthu... aana seekiram vandhuru naanga unna romba miss pannuvom...". Mullai smiled at them warmly and she could never frame proper sentences to express how healing their words were to her broken heart. How she wished she could hear those exact words from the one person her life was tangled with!