என்னை சுடும் பனி

~ என்னை சுடும் பனி- 2 ~

Kathir himself doubted how he actually articulated the words so perfectly and he felt maybe it was his heart speaking this time and not his brain. He didn't have a mask to wear in fear of being judged nor carry out a pretence for anyone's sake. It was him being wholly himself, after decades of trotting away from the prejudices people would throw at him. With her, it was only his heart and soul ruling his life. She knew him in and out, and the second he tried to put up an act, he would be caught red-handed. They may have failed countless times in understanding the emotions their words held but the language of their eyes, it was too outright to be conceived erroneously. She blinked continuously battling with her tears and he spoke the words one by one slowly, etching it in the glass of her heart for eternity to come, "unmelayum un kudumbam melaiyum enaku aayiram kovam irukalaam... naan sila neram adha solli kooda kaamichuruken... aana athukaaga nee illama naa sandhoshama irunthuruven nu artham illa... un kooda irukura neram naan sirichutu sandhoshama iruken nu poi solla maaten... aana nimmadhiya iruken... athu naane maruka mudiyaatha unmai...".

For that honesty his eyes reflected when his tongue spelled those words of his, she would even trust if he had promised her the impossible. She inhaled a sharp breath, making his eyes narrow to gauge out the words her heart stuttered to proclaim out loud. She settled with the safest option she could evoke from her already dead brain, to revert him back with a question, "enna dhideernu... indha maari laam neenga... pesamaateengale... ore naala enna ivalo maatram...". He saw her mouth quivering to ask out a question as simple as that, when on other days she would have eloquently spoken out pages of content without a single stammer. He let loose the restraint he had on the smile his face begged to flash out to his wife since ever. When she saw his lips curve, hers mimicked it carving out a perfect upturned dome on her visage. He shook his head with that dazzling smile stuck in its place and turned to sit facing her, making her nerves throb with emotions unnamed.

He raised his head a bit more, to look in her eyes and she moved down from the bed immediately, seating herself against the wall opposite him. He retorted back immediately to regress her back to her previous position on the bed which would be more comfortable to her, "illa... nee bedlaye...", while she gestured to him that she was fine. She stifled her chuckle on seeing him adjusting his posture instantly to face her, not even waiting for her answer. The atmosphere in their room had never been this consonant as far as her memory could prod into. She cleared her throat and tried her luck in speaking without fumbling with words for the second time that night, "naan ketathuku neenga innum padhil sollalaye... namma ippadilaam... idhuku munnadi...", she gave up her fight with her treacherous vocabulary and heaved a deep breath, deciding to let him speak on his own rather than embarrassing herself more for being totally incoherent.

The more vulnerable she became to express herself through words, the more confidence he gained. His eyes never wavered from hers and his toned voice made her eyelids flutter, "aama... idhuku munnadi neeyum unga amma veetuku poren nu sollalaye... sollirundha appove ithellam pesirupeno ennavo...". The morning incident paved its way afresh into her mind and her face drooped down gloomily, burning away all her neoteric excitement in a flicker, "neengalum idhuku munnadi enna inga irundhu poga sonnathillaye... inniku thaana sonneega...". Her words seemed to educe all his bundled up hurt and helplessness, the playfulness his eyes displayed a few seconds back were long gone, "oru varushama rendu varushama ethana varusham Mulla avungalum unoda ammavum enna yelanam padutheete irupaanga... naanum manushan thaana... porumaiya porakum oru alavunu onnu irukula... yen pakathula irukura nyayam unaku kooda theriyalaiya...".

His eyes were red, with mere fury or with deep hurt she knew not and she memorised his state inch by inch, promising herself to never let distress touch even his shadow from then on. He was too pure to have been made to face all those humiliations for the major part of his life, that too from people so close to her and sometimes even herself. He continued in an even deeper tone, "unna samandha pattavangalaa enna thappa pesumbothu neeyum enna appadi nenakiriyo nu enaku thonurathula enna thappu iruku... unaku naa avalo mukkiyam na yen unga ammave inni vara enna vaarthaila avalo kashta paduthuraanga... appo unaku naa yaarum illanu thaana enaku thonum... un mela paasam irundha unoda purushana enna nenachurundha kandipa ippadilaam avunga naala pesa mudiyaathu...", the intensity of his words hit his senses only when he had uttered them out to her. He felt immediately guilty for questioning the love her family had on her.