• Look how we broke so perfectly • [ A Jeon Jungkook Fanfiction - Female Lead ]

I'm good being alone.... with my broken heart

...
( For the ones who listen to music while reading the story...
Some song recommendations:-
You never know - blackpink
Why why why - Ikon
Stay - BTS
Stay - blackpink
Lonely - Bol4
Don't wanna cry - seventeen
You can add songs of your own too ^-^)

|Warning|

Might have disturbing scenes like self harm , self abuse , triggering words . Viewers discretion advised . Feel free to stop reading if you are sensitive to these topics .

• Current situation •

Cherry had a break to text me . She must be stressed up. I'll talk to her in min by calling her . But Lemme go get myself something to eat . I walk to my frige/refrigerator to give something to my hungry stomach . There's just vegetables... And a egg .

"What do I do with this? There's no rice left I guess."

I said as I search the cupboards . I saw few ramen packet .

"Atleast I got something to eat . Need less to say ramen and egg is life ."

I started making the ramen and after it's done I ate it with big bites as I was hella hungry .

" Ahhh now as eating is done . Lemme go chat with cherry . Sorry cherry for making you wait . "

I ran to my room and played some songs in Spotify.
Hmmm. Let's answer her text first .

" Hey cherry berry how are you? "

"Sent . Now let's wait for her reply . "
I said as I took my laptop. A notification popped up . Yeah that my English homework .

"Jeez even when the world is there suffering . These teachers want us to do those useless homework when nothing comes from it in tests."

*Ting*

I checked my phone and it's cherry .

" I'm all fine bro , how about you? Your studies?"

Ahh those studies-

" Same here . Nothin new in studies . Homeworks and tests . It will be a miracle if teachers say no homework "(you)

" Haha I meant the grades but anywayz . What are you doing?"(cherry)

" Guess " (you)

" Ahh eating? "(Cherry)

" I WAS eating ramen but yeah pretty close ." (you)

" Ahh talking to your  boyfriend?" (Cherry)

Suddenly the playlist started to play the song " you broke me first "

Perfect song for the feel huh?

" Hey you there??
Yo Akiko?" (Cherry)

"Oh yeah I was spaced out . Sorry I was thinking something else " (you)

" About?" (Cherry)

" Just some nonsense I guess "(you)

" You can share it with me you know? I'm here Akiko.." (Cherry)

Here I brokedown...I know this is silly and weak...but I need someone to say . Even if I have one . I don't know how to say it in words . All I can do is cry . I can't lie to cherry...she's my friend for nine years now . I feel like shit now . I wanna disappear.

" Sorry cherry...i know you hate it when I say this but . Let me die pls . I can't handle things more . I'm weak for this world . Too weak . So many breaking points . So many obstacles . I was a hopeful girl . Now I am hopeless . 
I am hopeless.." (you)

I texted her with a tearful eyes and a torn heart . I fighted hard and I got more problems back . I can't fight anymore...others are busy fighting for themselves while me who is a weakling...
It's better to be no one in this world..rather than just fighting . I took my phone and saw cherry didn't see the message till now . She has a life Akiko..she is busy.

" I'll just send a voice message."

" Hey cherry.." I said with a broken voice . My voice is broken becuz of crying all night yesterday and today morning. "Sorry to disturb..but I wanna say something . I love you forever . I am taking rest from the life. It's hard . I can't fight it anymore.. I wish you the best to fight it . Don't come with me pls . I am going where I don't want you to be . Live your life till the end...I'm saying this all cuz I'm taking my life now . I don't want anyone any more . But you stood with me for all nine years . I would love to spend more with you as friend . But i need to go . Far away from you...say bye to my so called boyfriend who broke me . Yes that's it I can't take one more heartbreak . Sorry to disturb you with a long voice note...I don't have the strength to type it..I know you are busy . And me asking this is pathetic..but can u send me a one last love you in voice note? I wanna hear my only loved one's voice before I leave. Take care my cherry . As always we say . Friends forever and ever . Infinity and more ...."

I said as my phone slipped from my hands . I was controlling my sobs for more than 5 mins . I let it all out . I looked at my phone to see if she sent the voice note of love you . She didn't...she's offline..I wanted to hear it at once and for all . I took my diary and gathered the strength to remind myself every thing happened in my life and write it down . My handwriting wasn't the best . My hands were trembling . Tears fell on the paper.  But I didn't care . I wanted something to be from me after I leave . After I wrote whatever happened in  short paras. At last I wrote

" I had no one than my boyfriend and my bestie but now only my chery is left...I love cherry . If anything happens .I hope u be okay . Sorry to include you  but I want to say thanks for you . You rock as the same old cherry . Love you! And now I got no one . Only this diary and a pen to write my feelings out . I felt lonely even when a person was near me talking to me . I was always lost in my thoughts which I can't explain In Words . Those thoughts haunt me every minute . I just hope to disappear and I will now . Goodbye world.  Love everything and everyone . Stay safe. Hope this covid goes . Me going away isn't gonna make a difference in this world . But , good bye everyone . Forget this one Akiko...

I wrote it all down and closed the diary . I feel worthless . As always . Lemme just take it away . My life isn't worth as everyone else . I ran to my bathroom and saw a scraper tool . I took it and scratched my wrist . It started bleeding but I didn't care . I saw how it's not doing what it should do . I took my first aid box . There I saw a injection with no liquid or any chemical in it . I took it and filled it with air . And injected it in my wrist . A sudden block came as CO2 mixed with my blood cells directly . I felt like fainted and I did....