Maybe We Shouldn't...| SCK AU story

7 • Finding 'Love' IRL

Serkan

      I lean my elbows on my desk and steeple my fingers. I'm as smug as a Cheshire cat. I grin inwardly. The fact that Eda is over-the-top jealous about my past dating habit elates me to no end. It tickles me pink that she seems inordinately interested in my sex life, or lack there of, but she doesn't need to know that. I see a glimmer of hope at the end of my long dark tunnel. Maybe she's interested in me, in that way.

     Without trying to seem too obvious, I fight like a champ to keep the lid on my jubilation. Oh, one more thing, a barrage of inappropriate thoughts entered my mind, when Eda asked, "anything I can do for you?" That question is an open invitation for all sorts of fun activities that cannot transpire between Eda and I, at this point in time.

     "I have no need to hang out at the coffee shop because you, my kitten, order my Starbucks every morning for me, exactly how I like it. My housekeeper grocery shops for me every, I don't know, week, every other day, and I haven't needed to step foot in a library since my Uni days. See, we have this amazing reading app called Kindle, now."

     "Not a fan of Kindle, I prefer paperback. Nothing feels better than holding an actual paper book in your hand. Kindle is so impersonal. I don't want to feel like I'm reviewing an online PDF document when I'm reading a novel."

     Over the years, I'm finding Eda's quirkiness, a characteristic I used to deem as being off-putting, to be charming. She knows what she wants and doesn't seem to be swayed by the opinions of others.

     "Sweet Eda, you know how many hours I work. Ain't got time to skulk around IRL looking for potential sheet-rompers."

     The plural form of the word 'romper' didn't escape me. This cannot be, there's no way that he can have a harem of women at his beck and call without my knowledge!

     "Don't scowl, you'll get wrinkles. Hey, romping between the sheets were your words."

     The reason I have no time to meet people IRL is because I spend forty-five hours a week with Eda, excluding out-of-office events. Why don't I just date her? Right, she's my employee. Get it together, Serkan. Maybe I can have the non-fraternization company policy amended? Nah, that would cause a shitstorm of epic proportion.

     "There's no empirical evidence suggesting that one is less likely to 'find love' on the internet versus IRL. Didn't you meet your Mr. Right in person? And how well did that pan out for you?"

     "Since we're strolling down memory lane, can we switch gears and talk about your ex?" I ask, putting her in the hot seat now.

     "You said he was smart, well in my books, smart is merely a euphemism for boring as toast. He reminds me of an older version of Sheldon from BBT."

      "Wake me up from my nap when you're done." I close my eyes and let out an exaggerated snore.

 Eda    

    "I have you know, I adore Sheldon from Big Bang Theory." I retort, defensively.

    "Well, it's better than dating man-eater Melisa. She chews men up and spits them out for breakfast. Melisa 'Maleficent' Turkay is about as authentic as my mother's knock-off Louis Vuitton bag."

   As we continue on with our bantering, I just realize, at the most inopportune moment, that I am infatuated with my boss, knee-deep. Okay, maybe waist-deep. However, the fighter in me refuses to roll over and play dead.

    "For your information, Altan accepted a job in the UK and we couldn't make the long distance thing work. He was very respectable and reliable."

      "Well, reliable is an attribute I look for in a vehicle." He mocks.

      "Well, your Maleficent is a common asada wrapped in a designer tortilla. " I retort.

      "A what and what now? Do you just pull these analogies out of your..."

      "Get with the program, think tacos. Insufferable snobs like her think of themselves as Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Harrods, and women like me as Target, Walmart, and Kohl's. She thinks that embellishing herself with Gucci, Prada and YSL automatically propels her to upper crust. She is as boring as watching the grass grow."

      "I think you mean watching paint dry."

      "Well if I did, I would have said that, Einstein." I rebut, stubbornly.

Serkan

      I have another confession. I only dabbled in online dating to try to 'forget' about Eda. Well, I can't exactly forget about her because I'm with her five days a week, but I went on random dates just to see if I'm even capable of being attracted to another woman, other than my personal assistant. The long and short of it is – I hooked up with other women to distract me from Eda.

     However, seeing her come unhinged was way too entertaining. Maybe that makes me an awful human being, but her reaction to my ex and my dating habit is painting a different picture. I think it's safe to say that none of the women I met up with, held a candle to my beautiful, crazy, colourful, quirky, and fascinating Eda Bombshell Yildiz.