This is a SCK AU story I started and abandoned temporarily due to time constraint. I love the premise of the story, set in a galaxy far far away from Istanbul.
This is the 'westernized' version of Serkan and Eda, set in a city in the USA. Our belo...
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EDA
I breathe in the briny ocean air and lean back in the rattan rocker on our deck. The back-and-forth motion produces a soothing sound against the wooden tiles under my bare feet. Only Bella's soft snores punctuate the rhythmic tapping sound. Soft breaths, angel-wisp hair, and a new life to love. How much love does one have to give? I would imagine that the love we have to give is infinite. I feel this limitless amount of love when I gaze down at little Arabella—with her pouty ruby red lips, little pudgy fingers and toes and the baby smell. The heavenly baby scent. I take a sip of my coffee and watch the sun crests the horizon—casting an orangey haze across the greyish-blue sky. This view. I can get used to this—as well as having an almost uninterrupted night of sleep. Bella only woke up once to feed last night. This was a very rare occurrence a few months ago. The 'new me' is nothing like the woman I was. I often get asked what it's like to be a mother. Let me start by saying how wonderful it feels to no longer have to drag myself out of bed every morning—feeling like roadkill. Motherhood has taught me to enjoy the wins—no matter how small they are. One does not fathom the true meaning of 'selfless' until one experiences motherhood. Having said that—there is a fine balance between being 'selfless' and being 'self-loved'. This concept is neither simple nor binary. Sometimes, you have to prioritize yourself—and that's okay. Eleanor Brownn once said "Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel." A vehicle cannot run on an empty tank. Like all new mothers—I lost my footing—regained my footing—and found my stride. Let's just say Eda finally found her groove. Being a mother—especially a new one at that—can feel like a participant sprinting in a race without a finish line. It's relatively slow at times—frantic at others—and most of the time—exhausting and exhilarating all at once. No matter your circumstances—motherhood is a 'profession' like none other in life. It's not a hobby nor is it something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It's an around-the-clock endeavour that demands full commitment and doing whatever it takes to ensure your child's safety and well-being. For me—the game changer is self-care. As tricky as it was, carving a sliver of personal time for me, myself, and I everyday, produced a significant shift in my daily life. Learning to go with the flow and not incessantly worrying about all the little things that can potentially go wrong and looking too far into the future allows me to be in the present and enjoy the ebb and flow of motherhood. The journey to get here was not all roses and unicorns. Nothing ever is. Life will always be a rollercoaster ride. It was a challenging and bumpy journey that resembled a military assault obstacle course at the advanced level. At times—being a parent feels very much like being trapped in a labyrinth. I found myself constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice was not always the case with Arabella. She was sweet as an angel at times and vexatious as a gremlin at others.
Now—back to the peaceful moment on our gorgeous deck that looks out to the North Pacific Ocean. Serkan shed a few tears when we decided that it was time to surrender his bachelor pad in exchange for a family home in the suburbs. We moved into our hacienda-style home nestled in the picturesque La Jolla Cove—when Bella was around two months old. As much as we loved the warehouse loft—we both agreed that a house with a yard was more suitable for our growing family. This home far exceeds what we bargained for. Not only did we get a yard—but a spectacular ocean view that I can never get enough of. Before we go further—let me take you back to the crazy, hairy few months known as the fourth trimester. I let my thoughts slip away—back to the earlier days after we brought Arabella home after a two-day stay at the hospital. We have come so far since that disquieting period. Some moments were etched in my mind, while others were a blur. I guess you don't remember much when you're running on empty—averaging three to four hours of sleep most nights. I still carry this mantra with me everyday.
